Dreams
by SpyKid18
Summary: When the Scoobies raise Buffy from the dead, she comes back with her memory completely wiped. As she struggles to remember who she is, Buffy finds herself inexplicably drawn to a particular blonde vampire. Season 6 re-write. SPUFFY
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: New story! I know this has been done before, but I like to think mine has its own little original twist. Anyhoo, hope you enjoy!**

Chapter One

Spike had seen a lot in his life. Spend over a hundred years traipsing across the globe, and you rack up quite a life experience. Or he supposed it would be an un-life, for him. Regardless, he'd been through a lot. Seen a lot. Done a lot. Nothing quite compared, though, to the moment Buffy walked down those stairs, three months after they had buried her. He found himself unable to move, staring up at her with what he reckoned was the stupidest look to ever grace his features. He couldn't help it, though. He had put it into his mind that he would never see her again, and when faced with impossible he found himself moved beyond reason.

She was standing there. Solid. Radiant. _Alive_.

"I found her wandering outside," Dawn said from behind her, grin pulling her mouth so wide that he wondered if it hurt.

"Did you?" he said, eyes roving over Buffy's body in wonder. His gaze fell on her hands, and his stomach twisted. Buffy felt his gaze and she tucked her hands behind her.

"Let me see them," he said, reaching forward.

"They were like that when I found her," Dawn said, smile dimming for a moment. "But I found her." The smile returned to its full wattage. "She's here, Spike."

Buffy tentatively moved down the stairs, allowing him to take a gentle grasp of her hands. He studied them for a moment before saying, "You dug your way out of the ground."

Buffy's eyes widened momentarily before she stammered, "Yes-yes I did."

He led her over to the couch and sat her down. He settled beside her, and called over his shoulder for Dawn to get the first aid kit.

"How much do you remember?" he asked Buffy gently.

"I don't know," she said, avoiding his gaze. "I…I don't…"

"It's okay," he said, reaching forward and laying a hand on her arm. She jerked away, and he while something that must have been his heart ached, he let her have her distance. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I…I don't know."

"Okay, I'll help," he said gently. "There was this god who came here to cause some trouble. Glory. She was looking for a key…" he went on explaining the past year, becoming increasingly worried by her blank gaze. Finally he stopped and said, "You don't remember any of this, do you?"

She shook her head.

He hesitated before asking, "Do you know who I am?"

When she answered her voice was like a small child's. "No. I don't remember anything. Not even who I am. I mean, I know that my name is Buffy. And that I live here. But-"

"Buffy, everyone is going to be so happy that you're back!" Dawn enthused, returning with the first aid kit.

"Everyone?" Buffy echoed.

Dawn's grin faltered again, and she looked at Spike and asked, "Still no better?"

"Just found out about the memory glitch myself, pet," Spike said, thinking that the lil bit could have at least warned him that she had no memory. He supposed she was too excited at having her sister back, though. When he thought about it, he couldn't really blame her. Memory seemed like such a small thing when compared to not being alive.

Beside him Buffy repeated her name, as if she were trying it on for size. She looked at Spike and asked, "What is your name?"

Dawn answered before he could cut in. "Spike."

"We all have such strange names," Buffy said slowly. Spike took the first aid kit from Dawn, and pulled out a few antiseptic wipes and bandages. He went to take her hand, but hesitated.

"May I?" he asked, remembering how she had pulled away from him before. She nodded, though, and he ripped open one of the antiseptic wipes and cleaned the cuts on her hands.

"Did you call the others yet?" he asked Dawn.

"No. I wanted to tell you first."

It was moments like this that reminded him how close they had grown over the summer. He dipped his head gratefully and said, "Good. I think we should wait a bit."

"We have to tell them, though."

"We will. I just think Big Sis could do without all the fanfare right now. They won't be back for a few hours probably." He glanced at Buffy and asked, "Is that okay with you, Buffy?"

She nodded a bit. "Yeah, that's fine."

Dawn had unwrapped one of the bandages for him while they talked, and he took it from her, tightly wrapping it around Buffy's hand. She winced and he apologized softly.

"Don't want you to get an infection."

"It's okay," she said.

When they were finished Buffy rose shakily from the sofa, and walked over to the fireplace. Pictures lined the mantelpiece, her own unfamiliar face smiling back at her from many. There was oen in the center of her, Dawn, and an older woman. She pointed at the picture and asked, "Is that my mother?"

Spike stood and walked to her side. He peered at the picture and smiled wistfully.

"Yeah, that's Joyce. Fine lady."

"Where is she?" He could hear the yearning in her voice, the desire for a caretaker to lean on. It broke his heart to think about it, because Joyce would have been the perfect thing for her now.

"She passed away, luv," he said. "Last year."

"Oh. What happened to her?"

"It wasn't a vamp, if that's what you're thinking," he said immediately. "If one had touched her, I would have staked it myself."

She looked at him strangely, and it occurred to him for the first time that he memory loss was absolute. That meant-

"What are you talking about?" she said, voice raising a bit. "Vampires?"

"Oh boy," Dawn breathed out. "You sure we shouldn't call the others now?"

"Definitely not," Spike said. He was about to drop some hard truth on her, and he figured the less people there, the better. He had a feeling she wouldn't take it well.

"Buffy, why don't you sit down?"

"Is this some sick joke? Buffy has no memory, so let's go and make up a bunch of stuff." Her eyes widened and she said, "Is my name even Buffy? I knew it was too ridiculous to be an actual name!"

"Your name is Buffy," Spike said slowly. "Well, technically it's Elizabeth, but even your mum didn't call you that."

"Tell me what is going on. Now."

"Then sit down."

"I don't want to sit down," she said petulantly.

"Fine," Spike sighed. He tried to think of the best way to explain a world that inherently seemed impossible. Every instinct warped the human brain into thinking the supernatural wasn't real. While he tried to think of a way to put it nicely, Dawn took matters into her own hands.

"Vampires are real," Dawn said simply. "So are most other monsters. And you are the vampire slayer, chosen to fight evil. Any questions?"

Buffy just stared at her, and then uttered a very eloquent, "Huh?"

"I think you should let me do the talking, Nibblet," Spike muttered. "Buffy-"

"You're saying that vampires are real?" Buffy said incredulously. "Look, I may not remember anything, but I'm not stupid. That's ridiculous! What, is the Boogie Man real, too?"

"Yes, actually," Spike said. "Terrible cards player."

"I don't believe you!" Buffy said stubbornly. "I don't believe you for a second!"

"Show her, Spike," Dawn said from the couch. "Show her your face."

"Your what?" Buffy spat. "I see your face. It's right there, all face-like."

He hesitated for a moment, but then slid into game-face. Her eyes widened into saucers, and before he could properly react she had pushed past him, tearing out of the house.

"Bollocks," he hissed, shaking off his vamp face, and turning back to Dawn. "I'm going after her. You stay here, you hear?"

"But-"

"Stay here!" The second time he said it there was little room for argument, and she unhappily obeyed, watching him run out of the house.

* * *

Buffy didn't believe it. She didn't believe any of it – not one kernel of what he said could be true, because monsters were not real, and even if they were she wouldn't be the one to fight them. She wasn't a fighter and stood about a foot shorter than just about everyone else.

And the Boogie Man would not play cards. Everyone knew he hid in closets or under beds. If he were real – which he wasn't.

But then she thought of Spike's face changing. Bumps raised on his cheeks and forehead. His eyes glowed yellow.

"Not real," she murmured. "It's not real. None of it is real."

She turned a corner, and stopped short when someone stepped out of the shadows. He was light skinned with a shock of black hair slicked into a Mohawk. He leered at her while he said, "What's a little thing like you doing out this late?"

She turned around quickly, her heart beating madly, but he somehow maneuvered himself directly in front of her. She blinked rapidly as her heart slammed against her chest. How had he moved that fast?

"You going somewhere?"

His face shifted into something grotesque, and she cried out in terror as he lunged toward her. Her mind went blank, but her body had other ideas. She punched him in the nose, faintly hearing something crack. He answered the hit with his fist, but she easily blocked it, knocking him off balance. She spun around and slammed her heel down on his jaw.

He fell to the ground, crawling back hurriedly back on his hands as he gasped, "You-you're the Slayer!"

He scrambled to his feet and ran in the opposite direction, disappearing into the night.

"Buffy!"

Spike was running toward her, and her entire body stiffened when she remembered how his face had changed. She stumbled backwards, and her back knocked against the wall.

"Please," she begged. "Please don't hurt me."

Spike raised his hands and told her, "Not going to hurt you, pet. I'm here to help."

"What are you? What am I?"

"That's a more complicated question than you realize," he said wryly. "But we're good. Both of us."

"But, you're face. I saw-"

"I'm on your side, pet. I know you're confused, but you can trust that. I won't hurt you."

Buffy pressed her heel against the wall and murmured, "It's all real, isn't it? Monsters? Evil things?"

"Yeah, it is."

She thought of her fight with the other vampire, and the fear in his eyes when he realized who she was. "And I fight it?"

Spike shook his head.

"You do more than that, pet. You fight it and _win_."

**A/N: You like? If you want to see more, please review. I have the next chapter all ready to go.**

**ALSO - if you like historical Spuffy then check out my SunnyD Award Nominee story "A Fine Romance"! Buffy, circa 1875, asks infamous womanizer William Pratt to pretend to court her in order to catch the attention of a former lover. In classic Spuffy fashion, things do not go as planned.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I hope you like this chapter, as well :D**

Chapter Two

Willow was convinced she was seeing things.

Sure, Dawn had called and said that Buffy had returned, and there was the whole revival spell. But she didn't actually expect for it to work. She had hoped. She had dreamed. She had prayed to every deity known to mankind, but didn't expect it to actually turn out. It was wishful thinking. Fervent whispers in the night.

"I can't believe it," she breathed out, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Buffy's shoulders tightly. The blonde stiffened against her, and Willow awkwardly removed her arms, stepping back. "I'm sorry. I know you don't know me, but…I'm one of your best friends. We all are."

"So, it worked," Xander said, eyes bright. "You're back. I mean, sure, your memories are a bit wonky, but you're here!"

"They'll come back," Willow said. "You're probably just in shock from everything."

"Yeah, like from climbing out of her own grave," Spike muttered. Willow looked at him with wide eyes, but he shook his head for her not to press further. He already regretted saying that in front of Buffy; she had visibly paled. But honestly, they should have known better if they knew enough to do that spell. Instead, they did their hocus pocus and left her to dig out of her own grave.

"So, you're Willow," Buffy said. She turned toward the tall brunette male and diminutive blonde. "And you're Xander. And Anya."

"See, the memory's already getting a Buffster boost."

Buffy looked to the taller blonde beside Willow and bit the inside of her cheek. After a long pause the girl smiled kindly and said, "It's alright. I'm Tara."

Buffy nodded. "Willow. Xander. Anya. Tara."

"And Giles," Willow said suddenly. Buffy looked at her strangely. Honestly, where did they get these names?

"Who's Giles?" she asked.

"Oh, he's not here. But we should call him. I mean, he thinks you're…"

Buffy shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms over her chest.

"But we can call him later," Willow said, exchanging a look with Xander. "Maybe we can all have dinner together? You used to like this pizza place-"

"I think I'll just rest," Buffy said, playing with the hem of her shirt. "It's been a long day."

"Of course," Willow said, nodding quickly. "We'll, uh, just be down here."

Buffy glanced toward Spike before moving upstairs, and it occurred to him that she was asking him to follow. He back straightened, and he said, "Let's get you upstairs."

They walked side by side up the stairs, arms nearly touching. When they got into her room she sat heavily on the bed, eyes drifting closed.

"It's quiet," she said. "I didn't know you could miss the quiet."

"The Scoobies mean well," he said.

"They're all so eager," Buffy said. "Eager for me to remember. For their Buffy to return."

"You are their Buffy," he told her, although part of him wasn't so sure.

"What if I'm not? What if this is all I can be?"

Before he could stop himself he said, "It's still better than before."

She peered at him with a sort of inquisitiveness that made the back of his neck tingle. She looked so much like the old Buffy then that he half expected her to toss him a quip and a right hook.

"Why are you helping us? You're a vampire, so I should want to kill you. You should want to kill me."

"That's a story for another time, pet. You need your rest."

She stared at him for a moment before laying down on the bed and turning toward the window. He walked out of the room, and closed the door quietly. The Scoobies were assembled when he came downstairs.

"You want to tell me what you did, Red?" he asked in a low voice.

"It wasn't her time," Willow said in a shaky voice. "It wasn't right. And we _needed_ her. All of us did."

"Well, thanks for letting me in on your little plan," he said smartly. "Afraid I'd get in the way?"

"No!" Willow said. "It wasn't that at all!"

"No need to spare my feelings, Red. I know the lot of you still don't trust me."

"We didn't even know if it would work," Willow said. "And even if it did, we weren't sure _how_ it would work."

"That's still not a reason to keep me in the dark."

"If she came back wrong or different, we knew you wouldn't…"

"Wouldn't what?"

"You wouldn't let her die again," Tara said gently. "Even if it wasn't really Buffy. You would have fought for her."

"You shouldn't have played with this. Magic has a price."

"Who cares?" Xander snapped. "It brought Buffy back! What else matters? Would you rather we didn't do it and she was still six feet under?"

"No," Spike admitted. "I wouldn't. But, we need to be careful now. We need to be on alert."

"It's good though, right? That she's back?" Tara offered quietly.

He thought of her upstairs, curled in her bed, and allowed himself a soft grin. "Yeah. It is."

* * *

There are men. Several of them, all clad in black, stalking through the green campus. They are in some sort of diamond formation, the one at the front leading them through the labyrinth of roads and buildings. He stops short, holding out a hand for the men to stop. There is some sort of device that he holds in his hand, and he looks down at it. A moment's pause, and his head whips up, scanning the area.

He juts his hand out toward the left, and then the men are off again. She struggles to keep up, wondering what exactly it is they're after. One looks back at her, and gestures for her to follow. When she looks down, she sees she is dressed in the same dark clothing.

They move forward quickly, and their target appears. She senses the vampire before he actually comes into view. It's a slight tingle up the back of her arms, and her entire body seems to thrum with energy. The vampire moves forward, and she inhales sharply when she recognizes the peroxide head. He's unaware of them, sauntering forward as if he owns the night. Before she can properly react, one of them men lifts his gun and shots. Blue lights danced around his body from the wires before he seizes and falls to the ground.

Buffy woke with a start, her breathing heavy. She tucked her hair behind her ears and murmured, "What in the world?"

She looked at the clock on the nightstand and sighed when she saw it was 2 in the morning. That dream had rendered her wide awake, and she climbed from bed, wiggling her toes in the thick carpet. She moved toward the door, but stopped when she sensed something outside. She went to the window and looked outside, surprised to see Spike standing under the tree with a cigarette burning in his hand. She quickly grabbed her housecoat from the desk and pulled it on, heading downstairs. She quietly slipped out the front door, drawing Spike's attention.

"Buffy-"

"Is it a habit of yours to keep vigil under my bedroom window? If so, I think this might be time for an explanation."

He chuckled. "No, I don't usually do this," he said. Silently he tacked on a "recently".

"Then why are you here?"

"Making sure the big bads are kept at bay. I was patrolling-" he caught her look of confusion and explained, "Hunting the bad guys. It's what you do at night, usually, but I figured I'd take over for a bit."

"Why don't you come inside? You can keep the big bads at bay there too, right? I bet it'd be more comfortable."

"I don't think the rest of your gang would like that."

"Well, it's my house isn't it?" she said. "And I hardly know the rest of my gang, so I say you come inside."

"Alright. If you don't mind."

He followed her into the house and asked, "What are you doing up, anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep. Bad dreams."

They settled on the couch and he turned an attentive gaze toward her.

"Dreams? What were they about?"

"It was nonsense," she said.

"You sure? Sometimes, your dreams used to be sort of prophetic. Showed things to come."

She thought of Spike collapsing onto the too-green-grass, and shook her head. Resolutely she said, "Well, this wasn't one of them."

"Alright. Well, keep us up to speed on any other dreams. They could mean something."

"I will."

They were quiet for a moment, and he asked, "So, what do you want to do?"

"Watch some TV?"

"Sure."

Spike turned on the television, and they watched the show in silence - the amnesiac Slayer and the vampire who loved her.

**A/N: I would love feedback!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I am so happy that you are all enjoying this. A small note about this next chapter. In this story Giles never went to London - he is still in Sunnydale. And...that is all you need to know! Enjoy!**

Chapter Three

"You think this is what Spike said about magic having consequences?" Xander said, glaring at the sight of Buffy curled against Spike on the couch. "Because I don't like it."

Willow tilted her head to the side as she studied the pair. "No, I don't think this is what he meant. She looks peaceful, though."

"Think I can open the blinds?" Xander mused.

"Only if you enjoy wearing your innards as clothing," Spike drawled quietly, eyes opening.

"Hey! How long have you been awake?"

Spike glared at him, gently nudging Buffy from his shoulder and standing up, easing her down onto the couch. He walked over to Willow and Xander, and said, "Would you pipe down? She's trying to sleep."

"Yeah, that's usually done in a bedroom. Without you as a pillow."

"She couldn't sleep," Spike explained with a frown. "Bad dreams." He tilted his head to the side and gave Xander an infuriating smirk as he said, "Seems I _soothe_ her."

"What type of dreams?" Willow asked, ignoring the show of male egos.

"She said it was nothing to worry about," Spike said.

"So no Slayer dreams?"

"No, I-"

There was a knock on the door, and both Willow and Xander froze while Spike glanced at Buffy to see if she had woken up. Willow looked at Xander with wide eyes and asked, "What time is it?"

Xander glanced down at his empty wrist and winced.

"I _really_ need to get a watch," he said.

Willow quickly ran to the kitchen and back, her eyes even wider than before. "It's 8 AM, Xander!"

"What happens at 8 AM?" Spike asked, his attention diverted by another knock. "Would one of you get the bloody door?"

"It's Giles!" Willow said. "He comes here every other day at 10 AM to check on Dawn. He didn't come yesterday, and we forgot about today with all the excitement-"

Another knock.

"We never called," Xander said quickly. "He is going to kill us. He is going to get a very large text book and beat us all with it."

"For bleeding sake, just answer the door," Spike bit out. "Rupes was going to have to find out soon enough."

"Yeah, but it should have been sooner," Willow said, moving forward and opening the door. She heard something singe behind her, and when she glanced back Spike had disappeared.

"Willow," Giles said, stepping inside. "Did I hear Spike in here?"

"No," she said immediately. "Well, yes, actually but…"

Giles had long ceased listening, his eyes trained on the sleeping form on the couch.

"Why haven't you brought that downstairs," he asked in a low voice. Willow glanced back at Buffy on the couch and her breath caught. He thought it was the Buffybot. Suddenly, it became even more difficult to tell him the truth.

"Ugh, Giles, that's not the Buffybot," Xander said slowly.

Giles turned to him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, there was this spell," Xander began, watching Giles carefully as the older man moved slowly toward the couch. "Will got her witch on, and we sort of brought her back."

"You brought Buffy back?" Giles said, stopping at the foot of the couch and gazing down at his Slayer. "I-I can't believe it."

"Neither could we," Willow said softly. "But it's her Giles. She's a bit worse for wear, but it's really her."

Giles seemed reluctant to pull his eyes from Buffy as he asked, "What do you mean worse for wear?"

"She has no memory."

"Of what happened?" Giles asked. "Well, that's not entirely-"

"She has no memory period," Willow interrupted. "She doesn't remember anything. Not us. Not what happened. Not even herself."

Giles looked down again at her with a pained expression. "My God."

She began to wake up, her mouth pulling at a yawn as she groggily stretched. Her eyes drifted open, and she sat up, looking around the room in confusion. There was some recognition when she saw Xander and Willow, but Giles only brought further confusion.

"Buffy," he breathed out, stepping forward suddenly. She scooted back on the couch, and he stopped. "Buffy, do you know me?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry."

"That's Giles, Buffy," Willow said, glancing at Giles. Despite him knowing that Buffy was without memory, the pain on his face was impossible to miss.

Buffy smiled shyly and said, "Hi Giles. They told me about you. I'm sorry I don't remember you."

"That's quite alright," he said.

"Rupes, you want some tea?" Spike called from the kitchen. Giles looked up from Buffy in bewilderment and said, "Since when is Spike playing house here?"

"Oi! I'm not playing house! It's called being polite."

"No tea. I'm fine."

"Suit yourself," Spike said, strolling from the kitchen with a yellow mug mysteriously devoid of steam. When he took a sip his lips stained red.

"So, you remember nothing?" Giles said, returning his attention to Buffy.

She shook her head. "Not a thing. I wish I did."

"Well, it'll come back. All in due time." He reached forward tentatively and took her hand. "We're just happy that you're back." His face broke into a wide grin. "So very happy."

* * *

"This is remarkable," Giles said, sitting with the rest of the Scoobies and Spike while Buffy dressed upstairs. "This is absolutely remarkable. You said it was a spell?"

Willow nodded. "I didn't think it would actually work. But then – poof – Buffy!"

"Remarkable," Giles repeated.

"You know any other words besides that one, Rupes?"

"The memory is an issue, though," he said, ignoring Spike.

"I could try a spell," Willow suggested. Spike was about to argue when Giles cut in for him.

"I don't think that would be wise. We are lucky enough that this went on with such small repercussions. Let's not push our luck."

Willow nodded, frowning sheepishly. "Alright."

"Maybe she just needs time," Tara said. "She's probably in shock. I mean, she didn't exactly have an easy time coming back."

Willow visibly slumped beside her and said, "I still can't believe she had to go through that. If we had known…"

"We didn't," Xander said, filling the silence. "We didn't think it worked."

"Sorry for bringing that up before, Red," Spike said reluctantly. He hated apologizing – probably could count on one hand the number of times he had – but he admitted when he was wrong. "As much as it physically pains me to say it, Harris is right."

"You're agreeing with me?" Xander said incredulously. He shivered a bit and said, "Yeah, let's not do that again."

"She just needs time," Giles said, echoing Tara's previous words. "I suppose we all do."

* * *

Buffy could hear them talking. She had finished dressing and was seated at the top of the stairs, listening to them go on about her memory. They sounded worried, and she told herself that she was lucky to have people in this life who cared about her this much. Sure, it got to be a bit much sometimes, but they were trying to do what was best. She just wished she could remember them.

"They do this a lot," Dawn said, sitting next to her. "Talk about you. When you're just in the next room. They did it with me tons last year."

"Because you were getting in trouble?" Buffy guessed.

Dawn shook her head.

"No. I was a key that opened up another dimension. This crazy god Glory came to find it. Everyone thought I couldn't handle it, which I _totally_ could."

Buffy stared at her. "You were a key?"

"Oh, sorry," Dawn said quickly, expression pinched. "Spike told me not to blurt so much out at you. Yeah, um, I was a key. It's sort of a long story."

Buffy nodded. "Right."

That seemed to be the running theme of her life that she couldn't remember. It was a long story. She imagined that 20 years would explain that, especially when you were the Slayer. If she were being completely honest, she wasn't sure if she wanted to remember some of those more Slayer-ey memories.

She heard the group begin to shuffle out of the dining room. Willow said something about her and Tara needing to get to class. Spike grumbled about being holed up in their basement for the day.

"You have school?" Buffy asked Dawn.

"Yeah, but I could stay home if you want me to."

Dawn looked so eager that Buffy couldn't help but grin. A teenager trying to get out of school - now that was something that Buffy could understand.

"No need for that. Continue with the learning."

Dawn frowned. "Fine. But I'll see you when I get home, right?"

"That's the plan."

Dawn and Buffy rose from the stairs, and made their way downstairs. Willow and Tara were standing by the front door, their bags heavy with textbooks.

"You want to come with us, maybe?" Willow asked hopefully. "I only have one class and then we could do something afterwards."

"I was thinking of going into town," Buffy said, tacking on a _by myself _silently. As much as she appreciated their attention, she wouldn't mind a few hours where people weren't staring at her as if she was some miracle.

"I'll come with you. I have some things to pick up, anyway," Xander said.

She nodded, despite wanting to be alone. It was probably better if someone came with her in the end. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to find her way back to the house by herself.

"We can drop you guys off on our way," Willow offered. "You'd have to huff it back on your own, but..."

"Well, I think we're sprightly enough for that. Right, Buff?"

It took her a moment to realize he was addressing her, and she stammered, "Right."

"Come on, Dawnie," Willow said. "Grab your schoolbag."

Dawn grabbed her bag, and the group made their way out of the house, leaving Giles and Spike alone. Spike glanced at Giles and said, "Don't expect me to entertain you now, Rupes."

Dryly, Giles returned, "That is something I neither expect nor want."

* * *

Buffy felt lighter when she left Revello drive. There was something freeing about being in public. She wasn't expected to recognize everyone. In fact, it was perfectly normal to look at someone and think, _I have no idea who you are_.

Xander turned out to be an agreeable companion. He was chatty, but didn't push things. She had been worried that a companion on her trip would mean someone pointing out all the places she didn't remember and bogging her down with stories and memories. While he was guilty of this occasionally, the chatter tended to be aimless. Often amusing.

They walked into a drug store, the fluorescent lights making her eyes squint. Xander spread his arms wide and announced, "Anything you want here on me! Well, anything under five dollars. Payday isn't for another three days."

Buffy smirked. "You don't have to buy me anything."

"I want to."

"You know, you can't bribe the memories back."

"Well, you're just as bad as ever at accepting gifts," he remarked dryly. "Think of it as a welcome-back-from-the-dead gift."

"They give gifts for that?"

"I actually don't have a lot to go on here, what with resurrection being so uncommon, but I think if it ever became mainstream gifts would very much be a thing."

She picked up a candy bar from a nearby shelf. "Okay. You can buy me this."

"Almond Joy," he said appreciatively. "An adventuresome pick."

He plucked the candy bar from her fingers, and they moved toward the check out line. As they walked past the magazine rack she saw a brunette male quickly slip a Playboy into the inside of his jacket. Xander noticed, too, and she followed him over to the magazine rack.

"A little warm for a jacket, isn't it?" Xander said conversationally. "Unless you're looking to lift some magazines, of course."

The brunette seemed unimpressed until his eyes landed on Buffy. He frowned, eyes snapping back toward Xander and then back to Buffy.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, Warren, let me spell it out for you. That magazine with the naked woman you shoved in your jacket is intended to be exchanged for money. In most cultures, it's called a purchase."

Buffy felt a flicker of recognition at the name, and she breathed out, "Warren."

"What?" Warren said, staring at her.

"You're Warren."

"Uh, yeah. That's my name."

"I know you," Buffy said, mind working to piece together how she exactly did. It was there – she could feel it right out of reach.

"Yeah, I remember," Warren said unkindly. "Great memories."

Xander sensed something off in their exchange, and glanced at Buffy, alarmed by the way she was staring at Warren.

"You know what, continue with your shoplifting," Xander said hurriedly. "Consider today a free pass."

He took a hold of Buffy's elbow and pulled her away from Warren, quickly pulling out his wallet and paying for her candy bar. She was twisting away from him as they left, her gaze returning to Warren, who was looking at her as if she had two heads.

"I know him," Buffy repeated. "I don't know how, but I _know_ him."

"You're remembering?" Xander said. "That's great! I mean, I would have thought you'd remember one of the Scoobies or Giles, first. But we'll take what we can get."

"No, I don't really remember anything," she said. "It was more of a feeling. Recognition."

"Well, that's a start."

She nodded, unable to shake the strange feeling. "Yeah."

* * *

Jonathan and Andrew were waiting in the basement when he returned, playing a game of Pod Racers on his old Nintendo 64. Andrew crashed into the side of a mountain and cried out.

"Every single time!" he exclaimed.

"It's because you suck at steering," Jonathan jeered, laughing happily as he passed the finish line. "And I win again!"

"I hate playing with you," Andrew threw back stubbornly.

Jonathan turned when he heard Warren and asked, "Did you get it?"

"What do you think?" Warren said with a slow grin, taking his time pulling the Playboy from his jacket. Andrew and Jonathan scrambled over from the television, grabbing at the magazine.

"I found something even better, too," Warren said. "Buffy Summers."

"She's in here?" Jonathan asked excitedly, quickly leafing through the magazine as he searched for the pictures.

"No, you idiot. I ran into her at the drug store."

"Oh. Okay." Jonathan didn't really understand why this was better than Playboy.

"Something's off with her," Warren said. "She was acting all sorts of crazy."

"Maybe it was her time of the month," Andrew answered reasonably. "I watched this documentary-"

"Listen, she was _different_," Warren pressed. "I think it's time."

"Time for what?"

Warren took his time looking between the two boys, smug grin in place. Behind him their plans for becoming the be-all-end-all supervillians hung proudly.

"Time we took down the Slayer."

**A/N: And...one of the major plots of the story is revealed! Feedback would be lovely :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Happy Grey's Day! I sadly have class during it, so I'll have to watch tomorrow. I'm so excited to see where Shonda takes us next, though! Here's a little treat for you all before the episode tonight :D**

Chapter Five

She senses him before she sees him. He move slowly – glides almost –and he is beside her. She props herself up on her forearms in her bed, covers pooling at her waist as he moves even closer.

He speaks to her then, voice like honey, and she feels warmth spread over her entire body. He steps even closer, leaning toward her. His hand covers her shoulder, and she thinks to herself that something cold should not create such warmth. But his touch sends something through her, setting off every nerve until she feels like she is on fire.

His lips touch the hollow of her neck, breath tickling her skin, and then there is pain.

Buffy woke suddenly, her hand immediately going to her neck. Relief filled her when her fingers found nothing. She laid back down, staring out her window. First she dreamt of strange men hunting Spike. Now she dreamt of Count Dracula? She laid her hand on her forehead, and glanced up.

"What in the world is going on up there?" she murmured to herself.

BBBBB

Buffy was able to fall back to sleep, and was not bothered by any other strange dreams. She pulled on her robe and padded downstairs into the kitchen, responding to the siren song of freshly brewed coffee.

"Morning Buffy," Willow said. She passed Buffy the cup of coffee she had just poured for herself. Buffy went to protest, but Willow said, "Looks like you need it more."

"Thanks." She sat down at the table, taking a small sip.

"More dreams?" Willow guessed.

"Yeah. They're really getting in the way of my beauty rest."

"What'd you dream of?"

"More nonsense," Buffy said, planting her heels on the seat and pulling her knees to her chin. "Nothing ground breaking to report."

"Well, as long as it wasn't a nightmare," Willow said off-handedly, working on some pancakes at the stove. She looked back at Buffy and said, "I have enough here if you want some."

"Yeah, sure."

"Just a warning, I'm not usually the pancake maker around here. That's usually Tara, but she had a paper to finish."

"Any pancakes sound fine," Buffy answered. Willow gave her a little smile and continued making breakfast. In the silence, Buffy's thoughts drifted back to her dream. It had felt so real, even with something so ridiculous. And it was ridiculous. Who honestly dreamt of Dracula? She laughed lightly and Willow glanced back.

"Oohh, a funny?" Willow said. "Share!"

"I was just thinking about my dream," Buffy shared. "It was so weird. I dreamt that Dracula came into my bedroom and he bit me. He was all glide-ey and stuff. I mean, how ridiculous is that?"

Willow was staring at her with this unreadable look. Behind her the pancakes began to burn, and Buffy pointed out, "You might want to check the pancakes."

Willow jumped a bit and turned back to the pancakes, quickly giving them a flip. She returned her attention to Buffy, eyes inexplicably bright, and asked, "So, you dreamt about Dracula?"

"Uh huh. Please don't tell the others. I already think they think I'm a little insane. Especially Xander after we ran into that Warren kid."

"What was your other dream about?"

"My first one?"

"Yeah."

"Um, I was moving through some college campus with these uniformed guys." She purposely left out the Spike part, not wanting Willow to know she was dreaming about them. Buffy was surprised by Willow's reaction. The red head moved toward her quickly, dropping in the seat beside her.

"Oh my God," she breathed out. "You're remembering, Buffy!"

"What? Will-you probably shouldn't leave the pancakes."

"Oh!" Willow quickly got up and scampered over to the stove, sliding the pancakes on a plate. She left them on the counter when she returned to her seat besides Buffy, and the latter looked longingly at them. She thought of what Willow had said, though, and her attention was easily reclaimed by the redhead.

"Hold on, what do you mean I'm remembering?"

"Those dreams aren't weird or ridiculous, Buffy. They're memories."

"I don't understand," Buffy said slowly. "Those uniformed men were real? _Dracula _is real?"

"I know. A lot to take in," Willow said soothingly. "But those are memories, Buffy. You're dreaming about your past. About your life."

"I met Dracula?" Even with the revelation that her memories were returning one way or another, she couldn't get past that fine point. Willow smirked and nodded.

"Yeah. Believe it or not, that's not the strangest thing we've encountered."

"All of this keeps surprising me," Buffy said. "Just when I think things can't get weirder."

"Hey, one person's weird is another person's normal."

Buffy frowned. "Let me guess, this is my normal?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds," Willow said. "Usually you're just dealing with vampires."

"Oh. Because that is so normal."

"Well, for you it sort of is."

"Right, because I'm The Slayer," Buffy said, wrapping her hand around the coffee mug. "I don't even know what that means. I don't know what any of it means."

"You will. You're going to start training with Giles again, aren't you?"

Buffy nodded. Giles had mentioned something about it in passing yesterday.

"That should help," Willow said. "Getting back in the swing of things, you know?"

"Yeah."

Willow was silent for a moment before she said, "We should set up a Scoobies meeting."

Buffy looked at her strangely. "A what?"

"Oh, a meeting for all of us at the Magic Shoppe. The others will want to know about the dream thing."

"Oh, okay. That sounds fine."

Willow grinned wide. "I'll call everyone."

BBBBB

"Buffy, this is fantastic!" Giles said, face breaking into a wide grin as he strode forward and enveloped her in a hug. She no longer stiffened at her friend's hugs, of which there were alarmingly many, and she stood still long enough for Giles to pat her back and back up. "Have you had any other dreams?"

She shook her head.

"Just the two. The military men and Dracula."

"This is good," Xander said. "The remembering. It should lead to more remembering, right?"

"I sure hope so," Willow said brightly.

"It's pretty strange it's coming out through dreams," Anya piped in. "Especially considering you knew who Warren unaided yesterday."

"I didn't know him," Buffy said, feeling the all-too-familiar guilt at finding someone who supposedly was a sorry excuse for a man more familiar than her supposed best friends. "I recognized him."

"Fine. Your subconscious knew him."

"Warren bunking in Buff's subconscious?" Xander said, wincing. "I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it."

"Let's focus on the dreams, yes?" Giles said. "If these are revealing bits of your past, perhaps there is a way to speed up the process?"

"Oh, like artificial sleep?" Willow said excitedly.

"Yes. If we can get you to a dreamlike state, Buffy, perhaps we can extract more memories."

"I'm game," Buffy said, sitting down at the table. "So, what's the plan? How do I get to this dreamlike state?"

Giles moved over to a shelf of books, crouching down as he searched for a specific title.

"There is a spell," he began. "It allows one to delve into the subconscious. It unravels the fabric of the dreamstate, revealing ones innermost thoughts and memories."

"Loprum Mente," Willow said, drawing Giles' attention. He looked at her in surprise and said, "Why yes, that's it exactly."

"I know it," Willow said a bit sheepishly. "I've been reading up on spells and I came across it. I think I can do it."

"It requires a very experienced witch, Willow."

"I can do it," she held. "Let me at least try. What's the worst that can happen?"

"Well, for starters Buffy becomes lost in the dreamstate and is unable to return to lucidity," Giles said.

"Oh. Okay, that's a pretty bad worst. Still, though, I can do it Giles." She moved toward Buffy, imploring her to let her help. "I brought you back, Buffy. I can do this."

Buffy remained silent, imagining what it would be like to remember. What it would be like to no longer live in a haze. To really see and understand, so different from the muddled state she was in now. She looked at Willow levelly and asked, "When can we start?"

BBBBB

"I need it to be only Buffy and I," Willow said, setting two pillows on the ground of Buffy's bedroom. "I have to be completely focused, otherwise it won't work."

"I don't know, Will," Xander said. "I know you're all broomsticks and brimstone lately-" she shot him a look, "-but what if something goes wrong?"

"I have to be completely focused," Willow repeated.

"It's fine guys," Buffy said. "I trust Willow."

Buffy was surprised to find that she actually meant that. Willow smiled gratefully in her direction, and then looked back up at the Scoobies.

"Guys, I need you to trust me, too. I can do this."

"We'll be right outside," Giles said, leading the group out of the bedroom. "If you need anything..."

"We'll be fine," Willow said resolutely. Giles nodded, the worry not quite leaving his eyes. They left, though, and closed the door to leave her and Buffy on their own. Willow smiled encouragingly, but Buffy noticed her hands tremble.

"You can do this," Buffy said. "You brought me back, right?"

"Yeah. That spell? Not exactly smooth sailing."

Buffy frowned. "But I thought…"

"Oh, it worked," Willow said, gesturing obviously at Buffy. "It was the during that I tend to block out. Bugs under the skin. A big ol' snake coming out of my mouth."

"Willow!"

"It's okay," Willow said. "That spell made me realize my strength—what I'm capable of. This is a piece of cake after that."

"Okay. What do you need me to do?"

"You sit there," Willow said, gesturing to one of the pillows. Buffy sat down, watching Willow as she took two candles from her dresser and spaced them out evenly between them. Willow struck a match and lit both of the candles before settling on the pillow opposite Buffy.

"Okay, take my hands," Willow said, giving her a reassuring smile as Buffy placed her hands in hers. "You ready?"

* * *

"What do you think they're doing in there?" Xander said, pacing outside of Buffy's bedroom.

"I believe Willow said they are doing a spell to recover Buffy's memories," Anya answered reasonably. She looked to Giles for affirmation and asked, "Isn't that what she said, Giles?"

"Yes, Anya. Quite right," he said distractedly, his gaze on the door.

"Yeah, but what's actually happening," Xander said. "What's even in her subconscious? Maybe she's not supposed to see that. Maybe she'll be emotionally scarred from it. Willow, too!"

"But she'll have her memories back," Anya added.

"Yeah, An, but if she's emotionally scarred-"

"She will not be emotionally scarred," Giles interrupted. "Buffy is strong. Stronger than we know."

"I know," Xander sighed. "I'm just worried about her. And Willow."

"Me too," Giles echoed.

* * *

It was like walking into a dystopian Sunnydale. Everything was there right in front of her, but slightly off. Her and Buffy stood in Sunnydale High, the hallways narrower and more oppressive than she remembered. It occurred to her, then, that she was seeing things from Buffy's perspective. She hadn't realized how oppressive Buffy had found the late and great Sunnydale High.

There was an overwhelming feel of monotony – never-ending-monotony. One face bled into another, an endless line of people that she would one day have to save, until one stood out from the crowd.

"It's Xander," Buffy said beside her.

Dream-Buffy went up to him and fell into step beside him as they headed to class. Dream-Willow followed, Xander throwing his arms around both of them as he said something. The girls laughed, exchanging a look in front of his chest.

"We look happy," Buffy remarked.

"We were."

The room shifted, a roaring sound filling their ears, and they were in the basement of some mansion. Dream-Buffy was chained up against some wall with Cordelia beside her.

"Oh! I forgot about this!" Willow breathed out. "Our life really does suck sometimes."

Buffy didn't understand, but she got a quick education when a large serpent rose from a well at the side of the basement. She cried out, a hand flying to her chest.

"I hate my life," she breathed out.

"This isn't even the worse of it."

"I survive, right?" Buffy said, watching Dream-Buffy mouth off to some guy in a hood. "I have to survive."

Willow's eyes darkened. "Yeah, you survive here."

* * *

Dawn walked up the stairs, stopping short when she found Anya, Tara, Xander and Giles all gathered outside of Buffy's bedroom. Her mind jumped to the worst and she flew toward the door, only to grabbed by Xander and pulled to the side.

"What's going on?" she demanded. "What's happened?"

"Nothing," Giles said, gesturing for Xander to let go of her. "Nothing happened, Dawn."

"Then why are you out here? Where's Buffy?"

"She's in there with Willow," Tara said, pointing to the closed door. "Willow is helping her get her memories back."

"How?"

"A spell," Tara told her. "But she needs complete focus for it to work, so we need to wait out here, okay?"

Dawn exhaled loudly, slumping against the wall.

"You could have told me that before I went all crazy person," she said.

"Yeah, well, you went all crazy person before we could tell you anything," Xander said.

"Yes. You did overreact quite a bit," Anya noted. "You might want to work on that." Xander shot her a look. "What? Self-improvement is an integral part of being human. At least that's what Dr. Phil says."

"To bring the conversation back to topic," Giles said dryly. "We are simply waiting, Dawn. We're waiting to see if it worked."

"Do you think it will?"

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them on the bottom of his shirt.

"I sincerely hope so."

* * *

"Who's that?" Buffy said loudly, pointing to the naked man cowering on the floor of the deserted mansion. She tilted her head to the side, admiring the view. Willow glanced over at her, laughing at the look on her friend's face. Seems attraction was based more on instinct than memory.

"It's Angel," Willow said, lips pressed into an amused smirk. Buffy noticed the way he was trembling, curled into a ball on the floor. Dream-Buffy approached him tentatively, and he lashed out.

"He-he's a vampire!" Buffy cried out.

"Yeah. You have a thing for those."

"What's wrong with him?" Buffy said. The last thing Willow said hit her and she said, "Wait, did I date him or something?"

"He was your first love," Willow said, glancing at Buffy for a reaction. Her friend was gazing at the pair thoughtfully, face unreadable.

"What happened to him? He's not here anymore, is he?"

Willow shook her head. "He left for your own good. He's in L.A."

Buffy watched the dream her handle him gently. She could feel the anguish, the rush of emotions so strong that her own eyes filled with tears.

"My own good," she bit out. "It ruined me when he left, didn't it?"

"Yes. It did. You got better, though. You moved on."

The roaring in their ears returned, and both wondered which moment they would find themselves spectators at next. Willow found herself selfishly hoping one would involve Oz. Just one. Buffy was waiting for Spike, indescribably curious as to their initial meeting.

They ended up in Giles' living room. Buffy, having never been there before back in reality, looked around in confusion. Willow glanced behind them and swallowed hard. This was going to be confusing. Dream-Buffy sat on Spike's lap, a palm laid tenderly on his cheek. They were bantering about something – not unlike how they normally were, to be honest – but then Dream-Buffy leaned in and-

"Oh gross!" Willow said, turning around quickly. Buffy turned to see what Willow had seen, and her arms dropped to her side, eyes hungrily roving over the sight of Dream-Buffy and Spike entangled on the armchair.

"I'd like to clarify that this is due to a spell," Willow said. "You would never in your right mind do this."

"Why not?" Buffy asked distractedly, unable to tear her eyes from the pair.

"Um, for starters it's Spike. Gross. And, again, it's _Spike_."

"But-"

The roaring returns, and before Buffy can fully explore why making out with Spike would be such a bad idea (in her mind it seems pretty darn good) they were back in the Summers home. Buffy almost thought they had come back to reality before she noticed a few things different. A picture out of place. An errant chair. She turned and her stomach fell.

"Buffy," Willow breathed out, feeling her own heart slam against her chest as she felt Dream-Buffy's stop.

The couch.

It was such an innocuous piece of furniture. Naps were taken there. Movies were watched. It was such a silly piece of furniture, until it wasn't.

Buffy never talked about how she found her mother that fateful afternoon. Willow realized that now. They knew that Buffy had found her dead in the house, but they had never gotten specifics. No one thought to ask. To be honest, no one wanted to.

Dream-Buffy stepped forward at the same time as Buffy did beside her. Buffy didn't say anything as her dream counterpart called out for their mother, shaking her shoulders futilely. Buffy watched her absolute worst day with an eerie stillness. For all intents and purposes, she didn't know this woman. Her memories were still murky at best. All she knew of this woman was the picture that stood on the mantle of the fireplace, yet she felt an indescribable sadness. An insurmountable pain.

It burned through her veins, grief so intense that she could barely see. The only thing she could see, in fact, was her mother's body on that couch. Her mother. It was undeniable now. That woman was her mother. She might not remember conversations or holidays, but she knew more than anything that she was her mother. And she was gone forever.

Buffy dropped to the ground and Willow ran to her side. The roaring filled her ears again, and Willow reached out for Buffy, realizing a moment too late that it was only her ears ringing. Buffy was still on the ground, captured in the one memory she should have never returned to.

"No!" Willow cried out, coming to in Buffy's bedroom. Her eyes snapped open and she breathed heavily, looking around the room. Her eyes fell on Buffy, her chin on her chest. Panic filled her chest like rocks. "Buffy! Buffy, wake up!"

The door burst open and the Scoobies rushed in. Willow shook Buffy roughly, eyes filled with terror.

"Buffy! Buffy, you need to wake up! You need to wake up now! Buffy!"

"What happened?' Giles demanded.

"I thought you said you could do this, Will!"

"I can and I did!" Willow threw back hysterically. "This isn't my fault. It was going fine, but then…"

"But then, what?' Giles prodded. "Willow, you need to talk to us!"

"She saw Joyce," Willow said, tears running down her cheeks. "She saw Joyce when she found her on the couch. She…"

"Dear Lord," Giles murmured.

"She collapsed. I went to go to her, but then the roaring started. I tried to go to her, but I ended up here."

"Well, can you go back?"

"Not without her awake," Willow said, her chest growing heavier with despair. "I can't intrude on her subconscious without her being a willing participant. She no longer is."

"What do you mean?"

"I think she pushed me out," Willow said. "I should have never seen that moment. I should have never felt what she did in that moment, Giles."

"Then why did you take her there?" Anya interjected.

"I didn't! I don't control where we go! It is wherever her minds chooses to go-"

"So, what, she's stuck there?" Xander asked. "We can't just leave her in her mind!"

"There might be a counter spell," Giles said, running a shaky hand through his hair. "Or perhaps something that would allow us to communicate with her."

"This isn't my fault," Willow repeated shakily, voice catching. "This-this isn't my fault."

Tara crouched beside her, putting her arms around her shoulders. "We know that, Willow," she murmured. "We know."

* * *

Spike was touching up his black nail polish when Dawn burst into his crypt, eyes wide with something that was alarmingly close to terror. He quickly screwed the top onto the nail polish and hopped off the sarcophagus.

"What is it?" he asked.

"It's Buffy," she said, voice breaking. "Something's happened. You need to come. Now."

**A/N: I know, still a bit slim on Spuffy. But the plot needed to be progressed! He will be featured prominently in the next one, though. I know it's been a while since an update, so let me know who's still reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: New chapter! You guys will LOVE this :D**

Chapter Five

"They did what?" Spike bit out, hurrying with Dawn through the tunnels to the Summers house. He tried to convince her to head back the normal way, but she was having none of it. He figured it was probably better she stuck with him, anyway. He couldn't stand losing both Summers girls.

"They should know better than to give Red all that responsibility," Spike continued in a harsh voice. Dawn gave him a look, and he remembered that the lil bit had a soft spot for the witch. "I don't mean she meant for this to happen," he added.

"She didn't," Dawn held.

"But she should know better than to delve into this sort of stuff. And now…"

"And now what?"

_We might have lost her again_, he thought. But he knew better than to say that aloud.

"Nothing, pet," he said. "Just thinking aloud."

"How much farther is it?" Dawn asked, the bottom of her jeans trailing in the sewer water.

"The tunnels take longer," Spike explained. "Not as direct of a route. I told you that you could have headed back the normal way."

"No," Dawn said firmly. "I had to make sure you got there."

"It's Buffy," he told her. "Nothing could stop me from getting there."

* * *

"No," Xander said loudly, pulling himself to his full stature as he glared at Spike. "We have enough problems! We don't need him in on it, too!"

"I'm here to help, monkey boy," Spike spat.

"Help?" Xander threw back. "When do you ever help?"

"Uh, need I remind you of Glory. Remember, the demi-God who probably would have kicked your sorry asses if it weren't for me?"

"Boys, calm down," Giles said, stepping between them. "We don't need blows of testosterone right now. We need to focus on helping Buffy."

"That's why I'm here, Watcher," Spike said. "Lil bit ran over to my crypt to get me. Got me wondering, actually, why you all weren't watching her."

"I don't need to be watched," Dawn said petulantly. "I'm not a child!"

Spike clenched his jaw. He could only deal with one problem at a time, and right now Buffy was a more pressing issue.

"Tell me everything that happened," Spike said, directing his gaze on Willow. "Leave nothing out, Red."

* * *

The moment kept replaying, and each time hit her directly in the gut as if the last eight, nine or ten times hadn't happened. Her gaze landed on the couch, then her mother lying there, motionless and pale. Eyes wide open, but gazing at nothing.

She moved a bit closer each time, careful to keep out of the way of Dream-Buffy. Once she memorized her other self's movements, though, she moved closer. There was a spot right by her mother's head, where Dream-Buffy didn't tread. She took up residence there, curled up beside her mother. Eyes squeezed shut, her face pressed between the cushion and her mother's waxy cheek, she almost felt whole.

* * *

"Buffy, can you hear me?" Spike said, crouched in front of her seated form. He gently laid his hands over hers. "Buffy, pet, can you hear me?"

"She can't hear you," Xander said tiredly. "Don't you think we've tried that?"

"Different voices penetrate the mind differently," Tara said softly. "His might work."

"You really think of all the voices, it would be Spike's?"

"Right here," Spike said, gritting his teeth.

"The mind doesn't always adhere to reason," Tara said. "Spike may be able to pull her out of this, whether it makes sense or not."

"There's no harm in trying," Willow said. "Keep going, Spike."

"Could I have a moment alone with her?" Spike asked, his eyes trained on her face.

"You're kidding, right?" Xander said, turning his gaze to the others. "He's kidding, he has to be."

"I suppose it can't hurt," Giles said.

"Can't hurt? Why don't we just offer up her neck and give him a straw?"

"I can't hurt her," Spike said impatiently. "Whole chip in my head thing, remember?"

"We will be right outside," Giles said, tone warning. "You are to get us if there is even the slightest change."

Spike nodded stiffly, his attention returning to Buffy. The Scoobies filtered out, Xander the last and throwing back a warning, "We'll be _right_ outside."

"Yeah yeah," he said dismissively, waving them off. The door closed and he turned back to Buffy, settling down on one knee. He leaned forward, resting a hand on her cheek.

"Buffy, pet, I know you're in there." She was still beneath his fingers. "Buffy, come back to me."

* * *

She heard his voice. Through the pain and heartache, she could hear him talking to her, pleading for her to return. But what was there to return to? She didn't know where she fit in back there. Everyone told her who she was and what she was supposed to be, but she never truly felt it. She moved on autopilot, going wherever they pointed. Here, she knew exactly where she belonged. She belonged at her mother's side, the only sound the gentle rise and fall of her own breath.

He called for her again. His voice stronger.

"No," she murmured, pressing her cheek to her mother's. "I can't leave her. I won't."

* * *

"You don't belong there," Spike murmured, tracing her cheek with his thumb. "I know it may feel like you do, but you don't."

She stirred beneath his fingers, her eyes moving rapidly beneath her eyelids. He glanced at the door. They had told him to pipe up if anything changed, but he knew whatever was happening would stop if they returned. Whether they admitted it or not, him and Buffy had a connection. He denied it himself for a while, until his own mind betrayed him in slumber and revealed the true nature of his attraction. There was a reason they couldn't kill each other for all those years. They were evenly matched. Two sides of the same coin. If anyone could pull her from this dream-state, it was him.

* * *

"I don't like this," Xander said, pointing at the door. "He's been in there long enough. I say we try out Plan B, yeah?"

"There is no Plan B," Anya said. "There isn't, is there?"

"No," Giles said, cleaning his glasses again. "Unfortunately not."

"Well, I still say we pull Captain Peroxide out of there. We reconvene at the Magic Box and do some more research-"

"And what, just leave Buffy half-awake in her bedroom?" Willow asked. "This is our best bet, Xander. Just give Spike a chance."

"Why are you suddenly on his side?"

"I'm not!" Willow shot back. "I'm on no one's side. I'm sideless! I just want her back. We worked so hard to bring her back, all of us. We can't lose her again." She wrapped her arms tightly around herself. "I can't…"

"Just give him a little more time," Tara said softly. "He won't hurt her."

"Yeah, well, if he does he'll be meeting the end of my Mr. Pointy." The group looked at him strangely. "A stake. I mean a stake."

* * *

She could hear him talking. His words were calming, like salve on a burn. But they weren't enough. They were only words, and she could still smell the powdery sweetness of her mother's skin. His words weren't enough to draw her away. She didn't know if anything ever would.

* * *

He had to get her back. He knew that she could hear him, but something was holding her back. He was running out of ideas, out of options. He was running out of things to say that he hoped would bring her back. Maybe she wouldn't come back at all. He found himself becoming desperate. She was so close. She was sitting there in front of him, all flesh and bone, and yet not there. He had to think up a way to get her back.

It was a half-baked idea, something others would probably stake him for if they ever found out. But that door was closed, and they were all alone, and maybe – just maybe –it would work.

He leaned forward slowly, his eyes drifting shut before his lips met hers. He kissed her softly, barely brushing his lips against hers. He figured if it didn't work, he at least wouldn't have had an attempted snogging to contend with. She was still beneath his lips, and he gave it one last go. One final brush of his mouth against hers before he would throw in the towel and admit defeat.

What happened next was so miraculous, that he thought the world must be ending or something, because Buffy Summers was kissing him back, and that could only come with some earth-shattering repercussion. Her lips moved beneath his slowly, tentative and new. But then her mouth opened, and he was powerless to his senses as he threaded his fingers in her hair and pulled her mouth toward his more firmly. Her arms slid around his neck, and she pulled him so close that he could feel her heartbeat.

She broke the kiss suddenly, gasping for breath.

"Buffy-"

"I'm back," she gasped, pulling away from him and looking around the room, and then finally at him. He smiled reassuringly, chagrined at the distance she had put between them, but not surprised.

"Do you remember anything?" he asked.

"Only what I saw," she said.

"Well, that's more than before."

Her attention returned to him, and she stared at him for a long while before saying, "I could hear you. You were talking to me, and I could hear you."

"Knew I could get through to you," he murmured with a shrug. "The other's couldn't, but I knew I could."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her torso. He studied her then for a moment, noticing the way she seemed to want to turn in on herself.

"You were with Joyce, weren't you?"

Buffy avoided his gaze, but nodded. She was silent for a long while before she said, "I found her myself. The other me. Or I guess the same me, but the one I can't remember. I came home and she was on the couch. Just laying there."

"You don't have to tell me this," he said softly.

"But I want to," Buffy said. "I…I don't think I told anyone before. I think that's why I couldn't leave. The pain was unbearable. Knowing what I lost, and how it would never be the same. Nothing would ever be the same."

"If it's any consolation, you do move past it," Spike said softly. "You never quite forget her, but you become stronger from it. Become a role model for Dawn."

"I'm glad."

They're silent for a while, and he could tell that there was something that was on her mind. He reached forward and tentatively laid a hand on her knee.

"What is it, pet?"

"What are we, Spike?" she asked softly. "Why is it that I could hear you and no one else?"

Spike was silent for a moment as he tried to decide the best response. With her open, frank eyes boring into his own, he decided on the truth.

"I don't know what I am to you," he said. "But to me, you are the most extraordinary and remarkable woman I have ever known."

He didn't know if he made the correct choice until she smiled softly, eyes brimming with tears.

"We should get the others," he said after a moment. It was only fair that they knew she was okay.

"Could we wait?" Buffy asked quietly. "Just a moment more?"

He knew what she meant. Just a moment more before the door opened and reality rushed in.

"Yeah, pet. We'll wait a moment more."

**A/N: Spuffy smoochies! Now, this doesn't automatically mean they're together. That would be much too simple; but it will deepen their connection and obvious attraction. AND - please tell me someone else laughed at Xander's Mr. Pointy line. I was in stitches each time I proof-read this. lol**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: New chapter! This one is chock full of action. Hope you enjoy :D Btw - if you read A Fine Romance, that just got an update, too!**

Chapter Six

With the spell proving to be the opposite of a success, they were back to square one as to how to help Buffy regain her memories. At Giles' suggestion, Buffy got back into what she was told was her normal schedule. The first part of that was attending classes at UC Sunnydale again. Sensing her discomfort, Tara suggested that Buffy shadow her for the first day, and Buffy immediately agreed.

Buffy felt comfortable around Tara for many of the same reasons she liked Spike's company. There was no searing attraction (probably best – she didn't need any further confusion) but, like Spike, Tara expected nothing from her. There was this expectant feeling that she always got from the other Scoobies, Dawn too, like they were waiting for a switch to click and all of her memories returned. Buffy Summers, shiny and good as new.

"So, what are the new memories like?" Tara asked as they walked through campus. "Are they complete memories?"

Buffy shook her head. "I don't think so. I don't remember anything other than what I saw. Like, I saw Angel and felt my love for him, but I don't remember any of our time together."

"That's almost worse," Tara said, shaking her head. "Having more memories that don't make sense."

Buffy shrugged. "It's sort of par-the-course now."

She'd been having dreams nightly since the spell. Each one was another resurfaced memory. Some of them were nice – those normal moments that even regular Buffy wouldn't have remembered. Others, though, were more difficult. She dreamt of destruction and death. Last night she dreamt of running toward the end of a scaffold, the air rushing past her as she shed every inhibition and fear. She didn't tell the others about that one, having an inkling as to what the circumstances were.

Someone bumped into her, pulling her from her thoughts. Tara glanced back at the guy in the baseball cap and frowned.

"Some people are so rude."

"Yeah," Buffy murmured, rubbing her arm. The guy had knocked into her pretty hard, and her arm throbbed. "So, where are we headed?"

"Encountering Latin America," Tara said.

"You can do that in forty minutes?"

Tara laughed. "Well, we try. The classroom is right here."

"I'm going to get a drink of water," Buffy said. "Meet you in there?"

Tara nodded, walking into the classroom. Buffy walked over the water fountain and quickly took a hold of the water basin when she felt her head begin to spin. She squeezed her eyes shut as her breath quickened. It felt like before in the dreams, when they would move from one memory to another. Panic gripped her as she thought she was pulled back into her mind. The spinning stopped, though, and when she opened her eyes she was still in front of the water fountain.

"Buffy?" Tara said from behind her. She turned around, confused by the equally puzzled look on her friend's face. "You never came in for class."

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"I…" she glanced back at the water fountain. "I swear I was only out here for three seconds. Four tops."

"Um, it was more like forty minutes. You missed the class."

"How…"

She clutched her head as the room spun again. When it settled, Tara was looking at her worriedly.

"Buffy, what's going on?"

"Something's wrong."

* * *

"I've confused the Slayer!" Warren said triumphantly. "Look at her, she has no idea what's happening. That has to be a 9 right there."

"You confused her," Jonathan said dryly, clapping his hands together slowly. "_Brava_."

"What-like you could do better?"

"I bet you I could," Jonathan returned. "I bet you a whole lot of money I could."

"A whole lot of money?" Warren repeated. "How about we put something on the line that's really worth something."

"Worth more than money?" Andrew said, looking between them. "The very definition of money is that it is worth-"

"Andrew, shut up," Warren said. He looked at Jonathan again. "I bet on your first issue _Avengers_ that you can't beat me."

"Don't do it, Jonathan!" Andrew said immediately. Warren shot him a look, and he said, "What? That thing is legendary. Jonathan, you-"

"Andrew, shut up," Jonathan said, echoing Warren's earlier words. "You're on, Warren."

"Shake on it?"

"Is there any other way?" Jonathan retorted.

The two men reached forward and shook hands.

* * *

"What in the world?" Giles said, examining the small micro-chip that they had found on Buffy's sweater. "I've never seen anything like this. It must be a perception distorter."

"Which means?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, in English Giles," Xander said. "Or, uh, English we can all understand."

"It distorted your perception of time. It made forty minutes feel like four seconds. Hence, the confusion."

"Who put this on me?" Buffy said, reaching forward and picking up the microchip. "Who would do this? I mean, as if I don't already have a suck-y life!"

To illustrate her words, the only clue they had for what had happened to her disappeared in a small poof of smoke in her hand. Her mouth dropped open, eyes examining her empty palm.

"What-how-" she turned back toward the others. "You guys saw that right?"

"What in the world?" Giles repeated.

* * *

Buffy agreed that she should patrol again –whatever that meant- but she was equally worried, along with the others, about her going out on her own after what had happened during the day. Xander and Willow had offered their assistance, but Tara surprised them all by saying, "Don't you think she should have someone more experienced?"

"We're experienced," Willow said glumly.  
"We did this the entire summer while Buffy was gone," Xander reminded her. He glanced at Buffy and said, "We can handle this, Buff."

"I'm not saying you can't," Tara said calmly. "But this summer it was all of us working together. Plus there was Spike."

Giles saw where Tara was going with this and shook his head.

"I don't think that is a good idea, Tara," Giles said gently. "We still don't-"

"Trust him?" Tara said. "He helped us all summer. He pulled Buffy out of her subconscious state last week. If not now, then when?"

"How about never?" Xander proposed.

"She's right," Willow said, surprising the others. "Right now, Buffy needs someone who can really protect her if things get wonky. We're not those people."

"And Spike is?" Xander spat.

"Well, he does have that whole super strength and speed thing going for him," Willow answered.

"He'll protect her," Tara said. "He's the right person to go with her right now."

"What do you think, Buffy?" Giles asked. She looked around, realizing that ever since Spike's name was mentioned she had checked out of the conversation. She was thinking about the kiss and how they hadn't talked since. The Scoobies kept her busy with other exercises to try to regain her memory, and he hadn't been by as often as before.

"It's fine with me," she said.

* * *

They went to Restfield as a group, Buffy not remembering the way on her own. She knocked on the door, her breath catching when Spike opened the door in just a tight black-tshirt and jeans, his usually coiffed hair messy.

"Buffy," he said, glancing at the Scoobies behind her. "I see you've brought the calvary with you. What can I do for you?"

Buffy turned back to her friends and said, "I can take it from here, guys."

"You sure?"

"I'm here, see?" Buffy said, pointing at the crypt. "I'll be fine. Promise."

They stalled for a few moments before turning around reluctantly and heading back to Revello drive. Spike stepped back and she walked inside, glancing around the crypt.

"Nice home," she said wryly.

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper, but it has real potential."

She smirked. "I can definitely see that."

"Not that I don't mind you popping by, but what's going on?"

She turned toward him, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm starting patrolling again. I've had some trouble lately and-"

"What type of trouble?" Spike asked immediately, body stiffening. She explained to him what had happened earlier in the day, about the time shifts and small microchip.

"We all agreed I should have someone else with me tonight in case something else happens," Buffy said. "And we chose you."

"Me?"

"According to Willow, you have that super strength and speed thing going for you."

Spike snorted. "Okay, makes sense. You want to head out, then?"

"We kissed," she said abruptly. He was taken aback at first, but recovered quickly.

"Yeah, we did."

"Shouldn't we talk about it or something?"

Spike laughed. "You wanting to talk? Are you sure there isn't some heeby jeeby thing coming on?"

She looked at him oddly. "Huh?"

"Sorry, just Buffy, the old you, she never wanted to talk. She preferred connecting her first with my nose."

"Well, that seems pretty ineffectual," Buffy said with a frown.

"I told you how I feel," Spike said. "What I feel. That holds true."

"And what I feel…"

"Should probably wait for the rest of your memories," Spike finished reluctantly. "As much as I'd like to get a clean slate with you, it's not fair. There's a lot you don't know."

"Then tell me."

"There aren't enough hours in the night or day for that, pet. We've got a lot of history between us."

"But you're good now," she said. "No matter what happened before, you're good now."

"Not good," Spike said. "Still an evil creature here, thank you very much."

"But you wouldn't hurt me," Buffy pressed. "Or the people I cared about."

He sighed, seeing that there was no going around this with her tonight.

"No, Buffy, I wouldn't. Couldn't, in fact."

She stepped toward him, her breath becoming uneven as she edged closer. He looked at her warily, but she could see the desire burning in his eyes.

"Buffy, we should go," Spike said, voice straining. "The point of this was for you to patrol, right?"

Her shoulders slumped. Yes, that was the point. Patrolling. Not her grilling him on what exactly was between them.

"Right," she said. "Let's, uh, patrol."

He moved past her, his scent hitting her nostrils and making her knees weak. She pushed herself to follow him, though. There were baddies to catch. Vampires that were not him to dust. She decided she would work out her sexual frustration that way. A familiar resolve filled her, and she wondered if the old Buffy operated this way often.

The vampires came quickly and often. She was relieved when she heard Spike remark that the night was busier than usual. Working this hard every night would tire a girl out.

She fared pretty well until she faced off against a female vamp. She didn't find fighting that difficult, her muscles picking up where her mind had holes, but this girl was different. She seemed to know all of her moves, and after several minutes of fighting, Buffy found herself pinned against a tree, trying to keep her own stake from sliding into her abdomen.

"Buffy!" Spike yelled, throwing off a vamp and staking him quickly before running to her aid. The female vamp was pushing on her hard, though, and she could feel the tip of the stake pressing against her shirt. Just a bit more and it would cause some real damage. Seeing no other way out of it, Buffy steeled herself for a world of pain, and then rammed her head into the girl vamp's as hard as she could.

Her entire head throbbed, but it was enough to throw the vamp off. Spike bound over and staked the vampire. Buffy staggered forward, hand resting on her forehead.

"Ow, ow, ow," she mumbled. "Bad move, Buffy."

"No, that was pretty on target," Spike said. "You did well."

"So, this feeling is normal?" Buffy said incredulously. Her face crumpled. "I hate my life!"

Something sounded behind them and they turned, Buffy stumbling backward when she saw a large demon standing before them. Her foot got caught on a root and she tumbled backwards, her head hitting a tombstone and knocking her out. Spike was going to take care of the demon, but when he saw Buffy was unconscious his priorities changed. He slid into gameface and snarled at the demon before turning his attention to Buffy. He scoffed when he heard the demon scampering off behind him.

* * *

"How does it feel?" Jonathan said breathlessly, climbing into the van. "How does it feel to be completely and utterly _owned_?"

"Could you put clothes on?" Warren said.

"I totally beat your little time warp thingy," Jonathan said excitedly. "I mean, I knocked her out! I knocked the Slayer out!"

"No, you made her trip and she hit her head on a tombstone," Warren corrected. "Technically, it was nothing that you did yourself. Therefore, you still lose."

"What? Dude, come on!" He looked at Andrew. "Andrew?"

Andrew shook his head solemnly and said, "I told you not to bet the 1st issue _Avengers_."

"Come on guys!"

* * *

Buffy woke up to the worst headache she had ever experienced. It felt like her skull was cracked in two, and when she remembered what landed her with the headache, she wondered for one horrifying moment if that was what happened.

"You're up," Spike said, walking over from the other side of the crypt. "How do you feel?"

"My head. Pain."

Spike laughed. "Yeah, whacking it on a tombstone tends to do that."

"What happened to that demon?"

"It ran off."

She wrinkled her nose. "Strange."

"Think you can make it back to your house? The Scoobies are probably waiting up for you. Don't want them to think I kidnapped you or something."

She smirked, but then stopped when she found it hurt. In fact, it hurt to make pretty much any expression.

"There's Tylenol at home," Spike baited.

"Alright. Let's go, then."

She stood up, but her knees were like jello and she would have sunk to the floor if Spike hadn't quickly moved forward and put an arm around her waist.

"Maybe walking isn't such a good idea," he said.

"Is it a concussion?" Buffy asked blearily. "I don't think I've ever had one. Don't even really know what one is. But you can get that from hitting your head, right?"

"Nah, it's not a concussion," Spike said. "Believe me, I've seen you get a lot worse without a hospital visit. You just need to sleep it off. Come on, I'll help you home."

She nodded, letting him put his arm around her shoulders for support as they walked. About halfway back she regained her bearings, and he dropped his arm. They got to the front of her house and they paused in front of a tree that blocked the view from the house.

"I think I'll leave you here," Spike said. "Don't feel much like getting grilled about the cut on your head. Which I patched up pretty good, by the way."

"Thank you," she said. He nodded his head, and then he just stood there, his eyes locked with hers as she stepped forward just a bit. They were close then, her breath warming his neck. She reached up and placed her hands on the back of his neck, guiding his mouth to hers. The kiss was gentle and soft. He pulled away before it could build to more.

"Buffy…"

"It's real," she whispered.

"What's real?"

"I don't care what happened before," she said softly. "I don't remember any of it, and who knows if I ever will. But this…" she reached up and laid a hand on his cheek. "This is real. This is _something_. In a world where nothing seems to make sense, you do. You make perfect sense to me, Spike."

"I tried to kill you when we first met," Spike said.

"I don't care."

"I tried to kill your friends."

"I don't care," she repeated.

"I tried to kill you many, many more times."

She took a hold of his face and pulled it to hers again, moving her lips against his. When she pulled away she murmured, "I don't care."

"You're just as stubborn as ever."

"Well, then I guess some things don't change."

He hesitated for only a moment before capturing her mouth with his.

**A/N: Please review! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of your feedback on that last chapter! Hope you enjoy this one!**

Chapter Seven

Despite the cut on her head, she told the others that patrolling had gone well. In the scheme of things, it wasn't a lie. They had dusted a number of vampires. She apparently scared a demon off by tripping. And she made out with Spike under a tree in front of her house. All in all, it was a successful night.

The next night she showed up at Spike's as she had the night before, this time dressed in a shorter skirt she found in the back of her closet and a t-shirt. The Scoobies had given her a look when she left, but she blamed it on the memory loss.

"This seems like me, right?" she said. They had nodded blankly, Xander openly staring at her legs, only to snap his eyes to hers as he stammered, "Uh, yeah. Right on, Buffster."

Spike opened the door to his crypt and smirked, eyes roving over her form.

"I see you're dressing for the occasion again," Spike said.

"Again?"

"This get-up is the type you used to wear when I first met you," Spike explained with a grin, stepping back to let her in. "Except you used to wear these sexy leather boots with the skirt."

She thought of the pair she had passed up in her closet, and wrinkled her nose. "Ew, I wore those willingly?"

"They were damn sexy, Buffy."

"No, they were not," she retorted. "But I'll take your word for it."

"You know, you don't have to wear stuff like this," Spike said. "I'd find you sexy in a burlap sack."

"But those are no fun to wear."

"Maybe you just haven't worn the right burlap sack," he joked. She walked up to him and draped her arms around his neck.

"You find me a truly sexy burlap sack and I will wear it. Until then, it's mini-skirts over here."

"You won't hear me complaining. You ready to go kill some bad things?"

She pulled her stake from the back of her skirt. "Let's go."

* * *

They settled against a tombstone afterwards, Spike smoking a cigarette while she rested her head on his shoulder. It felt nice to just _be_ with someone. No one was asking her if she remembered anything or if she wanted to try a new exercise. They were just sitting and enjoying each other's company, and it was surprisingly refreshing.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go back there," she said.

"To the Scoobies?" She nodded against his shoulder. "It's where you belong, though, pet."

"How do you know that?"

"They make you happy. You may not see that now, but they do. They're your friends."

"I know," she said glumly. "It's just so much simpler here. Things are clearer. I feel like my mind gets all muddled when I'm there. It's like sensory overload."

He tightened his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"Well, you still have a few hours left until you need to go back," he said. She yawned wide and snuggled against his side. "Tired over there?"

"I had a trying night," she retorted softly. She wasn't joking. Three vamps had taken her on while Spike was occupied with two of his own, and it was a close fight.

"Is it always like this?" she asked. "Life and death all the time?"

"Sort of comes with the Slayer territory," he said. "You get used to it, though, I suppose. And it's not always death."

"I guess."

"So, have you figured out who was doing that stuff to you before?"

Buffy shook her head. "We have no idea. Which, you know, makes me feel great."

"You guys will figure it out."

"I hope."

"That's the thing about you Scoobies. As irritating as I find you lot most of the time-" she wrinkled her nose and he snorted. "-yes, even you, pet. You're a right pain-in-the-ass sometimes. Or at least you used to be."

"I'm guessing you deserved it," she shot back lightly.

"I'm going to choose not to answer that," he said, and she grinned triumphantly. "But, as I was saying, people can say what they want about you, but you get to the bottom of things. This is no different."

"I want to believe you," she murmured. "But all these dead ends? Not helping."

"Maybe you just need something to take your mind off of them," he replied, reaching forward and laying a hand on her cheek. He leaned in and covered her mouth with his, tongue dragging effortlessly against her own. His kisses were like a drug to her. One was never enough. A hundred weren't, either. Each one made her ache for the next; and she found herself powerless to her desires. It was just that everything with him felt so right. In a world that was becoming increasingly fragmented, he was the one thing that made her feel whole.

"I never want to leave this tree," she murmured, forehead resting against his. He chuckled, his fingertips exploring the slope of her collarbone.

"We have to eventually, love. Otherwise you'll be kissing a big pile of dust."

She wrinkled her nose. "Ew. A whole world of no."

She ran her hands along the lapel of his black duster, enjoying the feel of the leather beneath her fingertips.

"Maybe I can say I'm going to the library to research this afternoon, but really go to your crypt," she mused.

"While I appreciate the subterfuge, pet, your daylight hours are best spent with the Scoobies. Besides, I need my beauty rest."

"You're a guy," she shot back lightly.

"Who has needs," he returned.

"Of which I can so ardently help with," she purred, running her hands down the front of his duster.

"Easy kitten, you're playing with fire."

"I like the burn," she murmured, running her hands back up his chest and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Reminds me that I'm alive."

He went to say something, but she silenced him with her mouth over his. After that, there was little talking.

* * *

Buffy shuffled back to Revello drive, feeling the all-too-familiar settling dread at having return to the difficulties of her life in the light. She preferred the nighttime, only her and Spike and those fights that she barely had to think a second about. Her body moved instinctually for the most part, her brain along for the ride. There was so much thinking to do in the daylight. Difficult thinking, made only more difficult by the troubling lack of sleep she had been getting since her and Spike began their – well, whatever they began. She still wasn't entirely sure what was between them. They kissed a lot. And talked a lot. She would have to consult Cosmo.

She padded down from her bedroom into the kitchen, yawning wide while she poured herself a cup of coffee. Tara was at the stove, making a batch of pancakes. Willow was right before when she said that Tara made the best pancakes. They were always fluffy and not the least bit rubbery. Buffy saw that this morning was chocolate chip, and she found herself unusually grateful for the daylight. If anything brought chocolate chip pancakes, Buffy was a fan.

"You came in late last night," Tara noted, flipping the pancakes. Buffy nodded her head casually before taking a long sip of coffee.

"I was patrolling and all that," she said. "Did I wake you?"

"Habitual light sleeper," Tara explained with a small grin. "Willow turning on her side practically wakes me up."

"My doing what does huh?" Willow mumbled, walking into the kitchen and going directly to the coffee pot. Willow was hardly a morning person, and she needed a full cup of coffee in her before words were successfully strung into coherent sentences.

"Nothing," Tara said, grinning indulgently. "Just sit down. Pancakes are almost ready."

"Oohh, pancake-y goodness," Willow cooed, plopping down into the nearest seat. "I like that." She looked toward Buffy and asked, "So, how was patrolling? You dust a lot of vamps?"

"The usual amount," Buffy said, shrugging. "You know how it is."

"Let me tell you, I do not miss my short lived time on the Sunnydale Slaying Team," Willow said, wrapping both of her hands around her coffee mug. "Talk about stressful."

Buffy nodded, thinking about last night. There had definitely been some stressful moments. And then some not-so-stressful moments.

Dawn came into the kitchen and greeted them happily, grabbing a pancake from the plate and taking a large pite.

"Mmm, pancakes," she said with a full mouth. "Did I mention that I love Saturdays?"

"You're chipper this morning," Willow noted. She narrowed her eyes and mumbled, "Please stop."

"So, can I go to Spike's this afternoon?" Dawn asked, chomping away at her pancake. Buffy straightened up at the mention of his name, and realized that Dawn was addressing her. There was something about Dawn asking her for permission that she liked. It felt normal; like something the old Buffy would do all the time.

"Sure," Buffy said. She paused for a moment and said, "I'll go with you."

"Why are you going to Spike's, Dawnie?" Tara asked, putting the pancakes in the middle of the table and sitting down.

"He said he'd help me with my Shakespeare homework," Dawn said. "Apparently he used to be a big fan or something."

Willow laughed. "Spike a Shakespeare fan. I never would have thought."

"You don't have to come with me," Dawn told Buffy. "I'll be fine. I went there all the time by myself over the summer."

"I'm not worried about you," Buffy told her. "Well, no more than I presumably should be. But I just want to get out of the house. Some fresh air and all that."

"It's a crypt," Dawn reminded her. "The air isn't all that fresh."

"I don't mind. It'd just be nice to go out."

"Fine," Dawn said, grabbing another pancake. "But no distracting Spike. I have a test next week."

* * *

It was a testament to his and Dawn's bond that he wasn't distracted by Buffy. Besides the initial surprise at her showing up at his crypt a few hours after leaving, he focused his attention on Dawn, only paying the elder Summers sister a few glances here and there in between reading lines from _The Merchant of Venice _with Dawn.

She padded downstairs to grab a book she had left there before, and Spike went over to Buffy, glancing back at the ladder downstairs for a moment before slipping his arms around her waist.

"This was a very unexpected visit," he said quietly, dropping his head to hers for a quick kiss.

"I like to keep things exciting," she returned, resting her hands on his arms. "I didn't know you were such a whiz on the Bard."

He shrugged. "Live as long as I have and the hours add up. I like his stuff. Smart with a biting wit."

"I'll take your word for it," she said.

They heard Dawn climbing the ladder and they separated, Spike wandering back to where him and Dawn had been studying while Buffy leaned against the wall. When Dawn emerged, she was holding two books.

"I found this other one, too," she said. "Mind if I take it?"

"Sure thing, pet."

"Well, thanks for your help," Dawn said, stuffing the books in her backpack. "You ready, Buffy?"

"Yeah. I'm ready. Patrol tonight, Spike?"

He nodded. "I'll be there."

While they walked back to Revello drive, Dawn very casually asked, "You and Spike are boinking, aren't you?"

Buffy nearly choked on her own tongue.

"What? Why would you think that?"

Dawn began to list off the reasons, ticking them off on her fingers.

"He was giving you all of these meaningful glances. You guys were freakishly nice to each other. And you glanced at his crotch several times."

"I did not!" Buffy gasped.

"You can tell me if you are, you know, boinking him."

"Please stop saying boinking," Buffy said, eyes squeezed shut. She wouldn't mind another memory loss right about now. The memory of her sister saying that word repeatedly would forever haunt her.

"I'd be all for it," Dawn continued. "He's clearly in love with you, and you seem to more than tolerate him now."

"He loves me?" Buffy asked softly.

"Buffy, it is, like, so obvious," Dawn said.

"He loves me," Buffy repeated, as if she was trying out the words for the first time.

"So, I'd be okay with the boinking. All for it, actually."

"Again with the boinking," Buffy said in a pained voice. "And we're not, by the way. There's nothing going on between us."

"Right," Dawn said knowingly.

"I'm serious."

"And so am I," Dawn said. "You don't have to lie to me. I get that the others might not be as on board, but me? Totally on-board."

"I promise, if anything happens, then you will be the first to know," Buffy told her. "But for now…"

Dawn frowned. 'Then you're both stupid."

"Huh?"

"He clearly likes you. You clearly like him. I don't understand why you guys make things so difficult."

"Because not everything can be easy."

"Well, this is something that seems pretty darn easy," Dawn said. "Don't make it more difficult than it has to be."

As they continued their walk in silence, Buffy thought that her sister was wiser than she looked.

**A/N: This was a total fluff-ball. Couldn't help myself :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: It's been a while. I wish I had a good excuse, but if you've seen all I've written while this has languished in no-update-land, you know I don't have one. A new chapter is here, though, and I'm hoping it makes up for my absence :D**

Chapter Eight

Throughout the afternoon, Buffy thought a lot about what Dawn had told her. Maybe her and Spike were being ridiculous with hiding what they had. Yes, she could see that her friends weren't his biggest fans, but from what she heard and witnessed in the past few weeks, he was as close to one of them as a vampire could be. He fought by their side and if what Dawn had said was right, he loved her, and wasn't that a good thing? Yes, it was. She decided that it was undoubtedly a good thing.

"Pet," Spike said slowly, staring at her after she told him all of this. "Have you fallen and hit your head?"

"I'm serious," she said, stepping toward him. They were in his crypt, preparing for a night of patrolling. "This is good."

"I'm not arguing that, pet. What I am about to argue, though, is the ridiculous idea that we tell them."

"It's not ridiculous," she shot back irritably, crossing her arms over her chest. "We're acting like this is something to be ashamed of!"

"Buffy, you've seen the Scoobie with me. Not my biggest fans."

"We can change that. They'll see how good you are for me-"

"No, they'll probably think I tricked Red into doing some love spell again," he interrupted.

She gaped at him and said, "Again?"

"A story for another time, love," he said dismissively. "Just, you need to trust me here, telling them would be dead wrong."

She sat down on one of the coffins, bracing her hands on her knees. She couldn't understand why he was so adamant to keep it a secret.

"We should start patrolling," he said.

"Why?" she asked, glancing up at him.

He looked at her strangely and said. "Uh, because it's your job."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I mean why don't you want them to know? What's the real reason?"

"Buffy," he sighed.

"I'm just trying to understand why you're so scared. I thought you were some Big Bad. You have all this bravado, yet you can't tell one simple truth?"

He clenched his jaw and said, "Pet, just let it go."

"I can't," she argued, standing up. "I can't let it go because I thought you wanted to be with me-"

"I do!" he shot back angrily. "And that is exactly why we can't tell them!"

"I don't understand."

"They'll turn you against me!" he said, slapping his palm against the breast of his leather duster. "The moment that they learn about us, they will tell you about everything I've done and then it'll be over!"

"You already told me about all of that," Buffy said.

"Not everything,' he said, shaking his head. "There aren't enough hours in a day, but they'd find a way. They'd convince you that I'm not good enough, and we'd be over."

"That won't happen," she said firmly, stepping toward him. He backed away, but she took a hold of his jacket, keeping him rooted in his spot. "Spike, you have to trust _me_ here, and know that won't happen."

His eyes were dark and he reached a hand up to her cheek. "They're going to do everything in their power to tear us apart."

"They won't be able to," she murmured. "I won't let them."

He sighed, pulling her into his arms. "You really want to tell them?"

"Yes," she said. "Look, my life is a mess. Everything is disjointed, even with the memories resurfacing, and I don't want to keep the one stable and normal thing in my life a secret."

He smirked. "Snogging a vampire isn't exactly normal, pet."

"I'm telling them," she said firmly, twisting from his arms. "I have to."

Spike wanted to argue further, but he could see that there was no use. Buffy's mind was made and there was no dissuading her. He couldn't begrudge the stubbornness, though, as it was behavior so similar to the Buffy he had known before.

"I suppose it'd be better to have you on my side when they come with the pitchforks and torches," he said after a moment. She grinned, sliding her arms around his neck again. She kissed him softly and murmured, "That's the spirit."

* * *

Buffy had a general feeling on the group's stance on Spike, but she didn't know them well enough yet to see who could be allies in her and Spike's coming out. She decided to seek advice from someone whom she suspected saw more than she let on.

"Dawn, can I ask you something?" Buffy asked, catching Dawn on her way to her bedroom. Dawn nodded, cocking her hip to the side as she casually tossed off, "Sure. What's up?"

"You want to come in?" Buffy asked, stepping back to let her sister into her bedroom. Dawn looked a bit surprised, but then walked forward, looking around the room casually as Buffy shut the door.

"It's different," Dawn said, turning around slowly.

"I moved some things," Buffy said . "That's okay, right?"

Dawn shrugged. "It's your room. What'd you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to ask you about Spike," Buffy began slowly. Dawn's eyes brightened at his name, and she nodded encouragingly. "Who would you say gets along with him the best?"

"Besides you?" Dawn said with a smirk not unlike the blonde vampire's.

"Uh, yeah, besides me," Buffy said, beginning to feel uncomfortable. Perhaps turning to her younger sister wasn't the best idea. Dawn stopped her teasing, though, and seemed to take the question seriously as she said, "Well, definitely not Xander. They're always mouthing off at each other. I actually sort of think they could be friends, though, if they stopped being such buttwads."

Buffy smirked. "Buttwads?"

"Well, it's what they are whenever they're near each other," Dawn said. "Anyway, it's probably Tara or Willow."

"What about Giles?" Buffy asked. It could help to have the elder's approval. The idea flitted away, though, when Dawn said, "He only tolerates him."

"So, Tara or Willow," Buffy said, biting absentmindedly at her bottom lip.

"Why are you asking?" Dawn asked, peering at Buffy.

Buffy hesitated for a moment before asking, "What would you say if I told you Spike and I were together?"

Dawn shrieked, clapping her hands together as she jumped up and down. Swiftly, Buffy flew forward, covering Dawn's mouth with her hand as she shushed her.

"I guess I know what you'd say," Buffy muttered, removing her hand when Dawn quieted down. "The entire house probably does."

"Sorry," Dawn said, smiling sheepishly. "But…do you really mean it? Are you guys together?"

Buffy nodded, a smile spreading on her face. "I want to tell everyone, but I think I need some help."

"Willow has more pull in the group," Dawn said thoughtfully. "Being an original Scooby, and all. I'd go to her."

Buffy grinned, nodding. "Alright. Thanks Dawnie."

"No problem." Dawn grinned wide. "So, you guys are _really_ together?"

* * *

"I'm telling Willow first," Buffy told Spike, blocking a punch from a newly risen vampire. Spike was fending off another a few feet over, and he called out out, "You're telling Red?"

"Well, yeah," Buffy said, spinning into a roundhouse kick. Her heel came down on the vamp's jaw with a loud crack. "Do you think I should tell someone else first?"

"Why are you telling anyone first?" Spike threw back, shoving the vampire away with a sharp ram of his shoulder. The vampire stumbled, still disoriented from his climb out of the grave, and tripped over a tombstone.

"I can't just blurt it out," Buffy said. The vampire charged toward her again and she pulled her stake out of the waistband of her pants, sliding it effortlessly into its chest. It burst into dust and she wiped her hands on her pants. "This has to be dealt with carefully, Spike."

"Hey, I've got an idea," Spike said, finishing off his own vampire. He turned back toward her. "Why don't we just not tell them?"

"We've been over this," she said, walking toward him. "We're telling them."

"All I'm saying is if it's taking this much effort just to figure out _how _to tell them-"

"Stop it right there," she said, taking a hold of the lapels of his leather duster. "You're not talking me out of this. We _are_ telling them."

Spike gazed down at her, lips twitching. "You know, you're pretty bloody sexy when you're all bossy."

A slow smile spread on her face, and she slid her hands up to behind his neck. "Is that so?"

"Hell yeah."

She tugged his face down to hers, kissing him slowly as his hands found the curve of her bottom. He slid his tongue along hers, and she moaned into his mouth. She stumbled backwards, stopping when her back hit a tree. Her legs spread and he pressed against her. They were lost in each other, taken in by touch and sensation. Across the graveyard, Xander Harris and Rupert Giles stood in shock. Giles chose stoic silence, while Xander took a different route, bellowing, "Tell me I'm not seeing this! _Tell me_ I am _not_ seeing this!"

Buffy and Spike broke apart, both of them looking in shock at Giles and the very angry Xander. Smirking, Spike slung an arm around Buffy's waist and said, "Well, looks like they know now, love."

**A/N: You know what would make my night/day? Feedback! I'd love to hear your thoughts :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: And update in less than a week? Whhaaa?! I start law school in two weeks, so enjoy the frequent updates while you can ;)**

Chapter Nine

"I don't like this," Xander said, pacing in the Summer's living room. "I-I don't like this!"

"Not to be rude, but you don't have to like it," Buffy said, watching him coolly from the couch with Spike. The rest of the Scoobies were there, too, most of them silent as Xander railed – too taken aback by what they learned to properly react.

"It's not right," Xander continued. "He-he put a spell on you!" Xander spun toward Willow. "He didn't ask you or Tara to help you with any spells or anything, right?"

As Willow and Tara shook their heads Spike looked at Buffy and muttered, "I told you."

"This can't be natural," Xander said shakily, wagging a finger between Spike and Buffy. "It just can't be!"

"Looks real to me," Anya piped in. "Look at how they're sitting on the couch. Nice and close. Bodies angled toward each other."

"Anya," Xander said, voice strangled. "Not helping."

"What? I'm just pointing out the obvious. What they have is _clearly_ real. I can't speak on longevity or deepness of relationship-"

"Anya, I think that's quite enough," Giles interrupted, wearily cleaning his glasses. Xander went to cut in and Giles said, "You too, Xander." He put the glasses back on and his attention was directed at Spike and Buffy. "How long has this been going on?"

"Four weeks," Buffy said. She looked to Spike for affirmation and he nodded, saying, "Sounds 'bout right."

"You do realize, that this is entirely unorthodox," Giles said.

"I came back from the dead," Buffy said, holding Giles' gaze. "Everything about me is unorthodox."

Xander noticed the look of grudging acceptance on Giles' face and he sputtered, "You can't be serious."

"Buffy is a grown woman," Giles said. "We can't very well tell her who to see or not see."

"When it's an evil creature, yeah, I think we can."

"Right here," Spike said sarcastically, raising his hand.

"So, you're not evil then?" Xander threw back.

"A tiger can't change it's stripes," Spike said with a shrug. "But you lot know I wouldn't hurt you. Not anymore."

"Yeah, because you have a chip in your head that _keeps_ you from hurting us. It's not like it's some stoic choice," Xander said. Spike went to answer him when Tara said, "You're wrong."

Xander stared at her. "What?"

"His aura has changed," Tara explained. "He's more gentle. More human."

"Oy!" Spike said, unhappy with what Tara was insinuating. Buffy shot him a look and said, "Really?"

"I am _not_ human."

"She didn't say you were human. She said you were _more _human."

"I don't really see the difference," Spike argued. Buffy frowned, exhaling sharply in frustration. Xander pointed at them excitedly and said, "See that! They're already fighting!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Harris," Spike drawled.

Xander continued to rail, and Spike answered him in like. Voices continued to fly through the room, the noise rising to an almost unbearable level, when Buffy shot up from her seat and yelled, "Enough! Everyone shut the hell up!"

The room grew silent, all eyes on Buffy. She took a deep breath and continued.

"Spike and I are not asking for your permission to be together," she said. "We wanted to tell you, nothing more." Giles went to say something but she raised her hand quickly, effectively silencing him. "You don't have to like it. You don't even need to accept it, but we need you to respect it. Respect my decision. My choice. I came back to this world – this life – completely lost. But I've found something. I don't know if it's what the old Buffy would have chosen, but it's what I have."

"Then we support you," Willow said. Xander turned toward her, poised to refute, but one look from the witch silenced him. "We _all_ support you. Some of us might not like it-"

"You can say that again," Xander grumbled.

"But we support you," Willow finished. "We always will."

* * *

"Well, that went better than I expected," Buffy said, walking with Spike back to his crypt. He looked down at her in surprise and said, "You imagined it being worse?"

"Well yeah," she said. "You said yourself that they aren't your biggest fans."

Spike snorted. "That's putting it lightly. They looked less than pleased that you were coming back with me tonight."

"They probably think we're going to do nasty deviant things."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Are we?"

"We're going to sleep," she said, smirking at him. "I'm beat."

"Tease," he said, grabbing her hand and giving it a quick squeeze.

They walked to his crypt and descended to the lower level where his bed stood. She didn't wait for an invitation, climbing in on the side that she already thought of as her own and curling under the covers. He smirked, peeling off his black t-shirt and sliding in beside her. He was drawn to her warmth, his arm seemingly draping over her waist of its own accord. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, pressing his lips to her skin.

"Is it still true?" she asked softly, her voice surprisingly vulnerable.

"Is what true, love?" he murmured against her skin.

"Do you still love me?"

He raised himself up on his forearm, gazing down at her. She had rolled onto her back, and her eyes searched his.

"Well, do you?" she pressed.

He dipped his head to hers, kissing her softly. "Always."

"Spike," she murmured, reaching up and resting her hand on his cheek. "I think I might, too."

"Might what?" he asked, his mouth going dry. This couldn't be happening. Snogging her against a tree was one thing. Having her in his bed was slightly better, but still something he had dreamt of. Such a tender moment, however, had never even crossed his mind. It was unthinkable, yet here she was, gazing up at him with a look that could only be read one way. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight Buffy," he murmured, settling back down onto the mattress. His arm draped over her waist again, and she interlaced their fingers.

* * *

He's standing with a lithe brunette, candlelight bouncing off both of their angular faces. They seem to be wrapped up in each other. She gestures toward the ceiling, head tipping back as she outlines a multitude of planets and constellations that only she can see, and he follows along, enraptured by the creature beside him. His arms capture her waist and he presses his face into the crook of her neck. She looks back down at him, lips curling into a grin and when he lifts his head their mouths meet messily.

"Drusilla, my love," he murmurs against the woman's skin.

Buffy woke with a start, sitting abruptly in the cavernous bed. Spike's arm had been wrapped around her waist, and he looked at her in confusion, yawning wide before asking, "What is it, love?"

"Nothing," she said hurriedly, too embarrassed by what she saw to tell him. Her tone was off, though, and he sat up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"What did you see?"

"It was nothing," she said. "Nothing important."

Spike didn't believe her. She was trembling under his touch, and she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Buffy," he said slowly. "Whatever you saw-"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said, turning in toward him. She pushed him gently back onto the bed and curled up beside him. "Let's just go back to bed, okay?"

"If you saw something-"

"I didn't," she said firmly, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and forget any of that had happened.

"Sometimes your dreams are prophetic, Buffy. It could be a warning."

She squeezed her eyes shut, burrowing her head further into his chest. Her stomach churned when she thought of the brunette and she muttered, "It's not going to happen. I won't let it."

"Then you did see something," Spike said, easing himself up onto his forearms. Buffy peered up at him, eyes troubled. "Buffy, what did you see?"

She didn't want to tell him. It would only upset her more, but his eyes were tense with worry, and she could only imagine what he thought she saw. Sighing she said, "You were with a woman."

He stared at her. "I was with a woman?"

"Yes, that's what I said," Buffy returned petulantly. "You were with this drop dead gorgeous brunette and you were clearly in love with her, and….and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Drusilla," Spike said after a moment.

She looked at him in surprise. "Yes. You know her?"

He nodded, and her stomach twisted uncomfortably. Prophetic dreams, huh? Had she just dreamt about her and Spike's unhappily ever after? She felt herself spiral into a panic until Spike leaned forward and covered her mouth with his. When he pulled away his eyes were soft, and she mumbled, "Please don't leave me."

He smiled slightly and said, "That will never happen, pet."

"But you said my dreams were-"

"You've also been dreaming a whole bunch of memories," he interrupted. "That was a memory, Buffy. It was nothing more."

She flushed and said, "I overreacted, didn't I?"

Spike thought of how him and Drusilla used to be – how in love with her he had been – and he shook his head. "No you weren't, pet. But I'm never going to leave you. I promise you, that's not something you will ever have to worry about."

**A/N: Yes, this was so fluffy it might have well been cotton candy. I offer no apologies, lol. Hope you enjoyed it :D **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you for all of your feedback! I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this :D**

Chapter Ten

After learning that Buffy's memories were slowly returning, Giles offered to resume their training. He said that the routine may be good for her.

"It may even jog up some memories along the way, too," he said.

She had resisted at first. Her body was a well oiled machine when she was out there patrolling. She hardly had to think about what she was doing. The kicks were effortless. The jabs and punches were exact. It worked even better when Spike was with her and they played off each other.

One night things did not go according to plan, though. It was the usual lot of vampires. Things went smoothly until Buffy miscalculated something with her vamp. She had thought he was going to dodge left. In her bones, she _knew_ he would dodge left. But he didn't. He went right, and she nearly had her head taken off. A few moments later he was dust, but she still was rattled.

She approached Giles the next morning during breakfast (he had stopped by to check in on how she was doing) and he was more than happy to acquiesce.

"I'd love to, Buffy," he said. She could tell he was trying not to smile too much, but he was clearly delighted by the inquiry. "We can start this afternoon. Meet at the magic shop at half past noon?"

"That sounds fine," Buffy said.

"It's just like old times," Willow said, grinning between the two of them. "Eating pancakes. Training at the Magic Box. Just throw in an impending apocalypse, and we're back where we started!"

Giles smiled a bit and said, "I think I'll pass on the last part. But I do agree that some training will be good." He looked to Buffy. "Not that I think your patrolling is lacking, of course. But it is always good to clean up technique now and again."

"Clean up what?" Dawn asked, yawning wide as she walked into the kitchen. She grabbed a few pancakes and stacked them on her plate.

"Buffy is going to begin training again."

"Huh," Dawn said, taking a bite of pancake. With a full mouth she asked, "Is Spike gonna come, too?"

Giles sputtered, "Well, I would think not."

"Why not? They patrol together. Shouldn't be train with her, too? Get both of 'em in tip top shape, or whatever?"

"It'll just be me," Buffy interjected, saving Giles from any other labored response. "I don't think Spike's really the training type. He's more of a wing-it-and-hope-you-aren't-dead type."

"Technically he's already dead," Dawn pointed out.

"So, it'll just be me," Buffy said, rocking on her heels. She looked at Giles and added, "Hope you're not disappointed."

Giles shook his head and said, "Most certainly not."

* * *

While Buffy sat with her friends at breakfast, an old evil returned to Sunnydale with a new plan. Ethan Rayne had never found much success in creating mayhem in Sunnydale. Sure, it all started off well enough, but the pesky Slayer and her equally pesky watcher (who had no right being so damn self-righteous all the time - he wasn't that different from Ethan at the core) got in the way. This time, he would lay his plan carefully. He would find the perfect hosts and create an evil so powerful that even the Slayer and Ripper wouldn't be able to quell it. He would succeed and chaos would triumph.

* * *

Giles worked with Buffy in the training room, walking backwards as he led her through a combination. She put her full self into the training, adding to his suspicion that there was a reason behind her sudden interest.

"Follow through to the right," Giles instructed. She launched her foot forward and hit the black pad on his hand. She stepped back, allowing for further instruction.

"You're favoring the left," he said. "If you favor one side too much, your opponent will be able to predict your next move too easily."

"I didn't even realize I was doing that."

Giles shook his head. "No, you don't. It's something you've always struggled with."

She liked the way he said that. So often her friends spoke as if the Buffy from before and her were two different people. It was refreshing to have someone treat both as one in the same.

"Let's go again," she said.

"You know, as much as it pains me to say this, it might not hurt to work with Spike a bit on this," Giles said. She dropped her fists, thinking to herself how strange it was to hear Giles tell her to actually go to Spike. "He will challenge you more and can offer more surprises. There's only so much I can do with my apparatus. Some true sparring could be of help."

"I'll talk to him," she said.

Giles cleared his throat and said, "Good. Well, let's continue."

* * *

Communication amongst the demon population was surprisingly good, and Ethan Rayne knew of the Trio the moment he entered Sunnydale. They were mostly a laughing stock. They dabbled in the dark arts with the bumbling care of a teenage boy going under a girl's bra for the first time, but this was precisely why Ethan wanted them. Their misplaced bravado served as the perfect breeding ground for his plans. All he needed was a few days to plant the seeds, and he would be on his way.

"Let me get this straight, you'll pay us 1,000 each up front?" Warren said, rubbing his jaw. "All we have to do is agree to work with you?"

Ethan nodded, watching the three boys salivate like a dog before a porterhouse. "That's all. And at the completion of the project, you will have an extra 1,000. In cash."

"Seems too good to be true," Jonathan said, looking anxiously between Jonathan and Andrew. "I mean, all that money so easily? It doesn't seem possible."

"Shut up," Warren said forcefully. "I'm the leader of the group here, and if it sounds fine to me-"

"Who made you the leader of the group?" Jonathan threw back. Warren gave him a look and Jonathan shrunk in front of him.

"_That_ is why I'm the leader," Warren said. "I'm the only one of us who isn't a complete pansy." Warren turned back to Ethan. "We'll take the deal. Now, where's our money?"

Ethan smiled pleasantly, thinking that everything was going according to plan.

"Don't worry, you will get your money. Some ground rules first, though, boys."

He explained the bare bones of the plan, leaving out some minor details like their imminent deaths and him pocketing their money. At the end, Warren smiled wide, oblivious to just how poorly things would turn for them in time.

"Alright, sounds good," Warren said. "When do we start?"

* * *

"When do we start?"

Buffy grinned up at Spike, her chin resting on his chest. They were in his bed after patrolling, and she told him about what Giles had said earlier in the day about them sparring together.

"Not right now," she said.

"I'd hope not," he returned, tightening his arms around her. "It's right comfy here. You're nice and warm."

She pressed her cheek against his chest and murmured, "I'm pretty comfy, too."

"You're staying the whole night, then?"

She nodded, brushing a kiss right above his heart. "Uh huh. The whole night."

"How'd the Scoobies take that?"

"I didn't tell them."

"So, they don't know where you are?" Spike said, his voice bordering on disapproving.

"You sound like Giles," she teased.

"Oy! Take it back!"

She chuckled, craning her neck to reach his lips. She kissed him and said, "You're nothing like Giles."

"Thank you. And you really should let 'em know where you are. In case something happens."

"I'm more than capable of taking care of myself," she said petulantly. "And besides, you're here. You wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"Not if I could stop it," he said. "But there are some evil things even bigger than me. Best let the Scoobies know where you are, pet."

"Fine, I will make sure to give them at least a 24 hour notice beforehand next time," Buffy said. "And, I will even leave a note for good measure. You know, in case they forget."

He set her with a look at her ribbing and said, "Alright, pet. I get it."

"Should we call when we get back from patrolling, too? Just so they don't worry? Or-"

Spike covered her mouth with his, effectively silencing her as his mouth did devious things to hers. He pulled away slightly and said, "No more talking."

"Can't argue with that," she said, pulling his face back down toward hers.

* * *

Giles knew Ethan Rayne was back in town not a day after his old friend returned. He began looking into his return immediately, figuring that no good could come from Ethan in Sunnydale. Last he heard, Ethan had been in a rehabilitation center in Nevada after being captured by the Initiative. He couldn't imagine the group would just let him go, so escape was the only viable explanation.

When he told the group, they all looked at him in surprise, except for Buffy who didn't have the slightest clue who he was.

"You know, the guy who bewitched those Halloween costumes," Xander tried. "The band candy." Still no response, and he tried as a last ditch attempt, "Scary demon Giles?"

Buffy's eyes widened, and for a moment Xander thought she remembered, until she said, "Giles, you were a demon?! Get out of here!"

"I assure you, Buffy, it was very brief," Giles said dryly. "Anyway, I can almost promise you that he is up to no good."

"Chaos worshipping wizard rarely are," Willow said.

"Quite right. We need to protect ourselves, especially you, Buffy. He can be convincing, and since you don't know or remember him, you are particularly susceptible to his charms."

"So, what do we do?"

"First, we put a spell on the house that keeps him from entering," Giles said, looking at Willow. "It's highly unlikely that he would come here, but I want to be safe."

Willow said, "I can do one tomorrow morning. I just need to get the supplies."

"Good. And Buffy, we will have to get you up to speed about him and what he has done, so you're prepared if you run into him. We also will show you his picture."

"Don't get too excited," Xander said, pulling the picture off of the table. "Chaos worshipping wizards aren't exactly a handsome bunch. Except for our illustrious Giles, of course."

Giles smirked. "Thank you, Xander."

"Alright, so this is Ethan Rayne," Buffy said, the picture tingling up a vague image of her on her back, Spike vamping out on top of her. She decided right then that she didn't this Ethan guy. "How do we take him out?"

"It's not him we have to worry about, so much as what he creates," Giles said.

"And what do you think he's creating this time?" Buffy asked.

Giles' face turned stormy as he replied, "I haven't a clue."

**A/N: New plot! I realize I've gone a bit off from the original S6 plot, but I don't want my story to turn that dark. I prefer my Trio to be ridiculously goofy (and stupid) than gun-toting-Tara-killers. Hope you enjoyed the inclusion of Ethan! Would love your thoughts :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you for all of your feedback! I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this :D**

Chapter Eleven

Ethan had them do grunt work first, keeping them entirely oblivious as to their true role in his plan. He sent them on smaller projects to pass the time until they were needed. A little petty theft here and some surveillance there. Believing they were indeed helping, the three boys were more than happy to lend a hand. In the end, they would be lending much more than that.

Meanwhile, Ethan worked on his own, making sure that he had everything in order for when the time came.

The Rigonauld Demon.

It was behind nearly half of history's bloodiest riots, although most humans were unaware. Times of unrest were its breeding ground, but it could be summoned, too. Few supplies were needed, and most if not all could be found in Sunnydale. He just needed a few more days to ensure his preparedness, and then he would be ready. It would be time.

* * *

Buffy stood in front of the sink, working on a pile of dishes when Dawn yelled her name repeatedly. There was a note of panic in it that made her stomach flip, and she dropped the plate immediately, running downstairs with a number of gruesome images flashing in her mind – each more horrifying than the last. When she reached Dawn – her chest heaving and pulse racing – she found her sister perfectly alive staring at a dripping pipe. Dawn looked at her and said, "Buffy, the pipe is leaking!"

"That's what you yelled my name for?" Buffy said, breathing hard.

"Well, yeah," Dawn said. "Leaking pipes seem pretty bad. I don't want the ceiling collapsing or something."

Spike had been upstairs, spending the odd day at their home, and he rushed down after Buffy, hair singeing from an open window he flew past. He looked between the two Summers women and stammered, "Are you hurt? What happened?"

"We're fine," Buffy said, giving Dawn a look. "She was just worried about this pipe."

"What'd you yell bloody murder for, lil bit? Scared me half to death, figuratively speaking."

"I didn't notice this before," Buffy said, her pulse returning to normal. "I'll call a plumber this afternoon."

"Oh no you're not," Spike said, stepping past her and beginning to examine the pipes.

"What do you mean I'm not?" Buffy said, spinning toward him with her hands on her waist. "Leaking pipes are generally not a good thing. And I have no idea what to do with one."

"Yeah, well, I do."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Shouldn't be too difficult."

"Spike, it's not that I don't want you helping here, but...I don't want you helping here. You're not a plumber and-"

"Pipe down, will you? I'm trying to work here."

"You really know how to fix pipes?" Buffy asked, disbelief evident in her voice.

"I know a few things about 'em, yeah," he said off-handedly.

"How? How do _you_ know a few things about fixing pipes? You live in a crypt."

"Live as long as me, pet, and you learn a lot of things. Your problem is some corrosion. Just need to calk the thing a bit and it'll be good as new."

"Calk it?" Buffy asked, perplexed. Spike smirked and returned, "Not in front of lil sis, pet."

Buffy ignored his lewd comment and said, "I think I'll still call the plumber. Have them check it, too."

"I'm telling you, Buffy, you don't need a plumber," Spike said. "I just told you what's wrong, and I didn't charge you two hundred dollars that you can't afford."

Buffy's eyes widened and began to say, "How-"

"I hear things," Spike interrupted. When she gave him a look he said, "Evil thing here, pet. I eavesdrop."

He was right that she couldn't afford the two hundred dollars. Giles had sat her down the day before and told her about their financial troubles. Joyce left her money after she passed, but most of that went toward her funeral. The remaining bit ironically enough was used for her own funeral a few months later.

"You really can fix it?" Buffy asked.

"I wouldn't offer if I couldn't."

"Alright," Buffy said. She vaguely recalled that Xander worked as a handyman and added, "But I'm having Xander work with you. Two sets of hands are better than one, right?

"What? Buffy-"

"No arguing," she said firmly. "That's how it is. Either you work with Xander or I'm pulling a bank job and getting that plumber."

* * *

The arguing was constant. Even upstairs Buffy and the rest of the gang could hear Xander and Spike bickering as they worked.

"That's not the right wrench," Xander said loudly.

"Seems right enough to me," Spike returned. "It works, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's not the right one. It's taking you twice as long to do that. If you just got her peroxide head out of your butt and used the _right_ one it-"

"I don't want to use the _right_ one," Spike ground out. "This one is fine! Would you get off my back?"

"I'm not on your back," Xander threw back. "I'm not even remotely _near_ your back!"

"How long do you think it'll be until they kill each other?" Willow asked, taking a sip of her coffee. Her, Tara and Buffy sat around the kitchen table, listening to the free floorshow.

"Spike has the advantage because there are no windows down there," Tara mused. "Although I'm not up to snuff on the amount of possible stakes."

"They will play nice," Buffy said. She frowned when Spike bellowed a string of curse words, closely followed by Xander's equally perverse response. "Or as nicely as those two can play."

"I still can believe he agreed," Willow said.

Tara grinned. "Which one."

Willow laughed and replied, "Good point. Both, I guess. But more Spike than Xander."

"Yeah, how did you do it?" Tara asked, the two girl shifting their gaze to Buffy. She shrugged and said, "I threatened a bank heist."

"You threatened a bank heist?"

"Spike didn't want me to go to a plumber because we all know I can't afford it right now, and while he has no qualms with stealing money, my offering to do it was apparently too much. He agreed immediately."

That hadn't exactly been the case. First he fought it. Then, when it was clear she wouldn't budge, he whined and complained until she threatened to stake him. It was an empty threat, but enough to make Spike shut up.

There was a large crashing noise bellow them and Buffy winced.

"Agreement or not, I better go check on them," she said. She rose from her seat and went downstairs, not the least surprised to see Xander and Spike nose-to-nose, Xander grasping the top of Spike's t-shirt.

"Now, what did I say about playing nicely?" Buffy said.

Xander let go of Spike, but not before imparting a subtle shove that did little more than make Spike irritated.

"He started it," Xander said.

"Yeah, I don't doubt he did," Buffy said, sending Spike a look. "But I don't really care who started it. I just want the pipe fixed." Spike made a face and she pointed at him accusingly as she said, "Don't you start. I offered to go for a plumber."

"Plumbers always rip you off," Xander said.

Spike turned toward him and said, "That's exactly what I told her!" He looked back at Buffy. "See, I told you!"

"Wow, so you're in agreement about something," Buffy said. "Let's take this momentary positive glow and apply it to the work at hand." She started up the stairs and then turned back. "Also, lunch is in twenty minutes."

"Did you get those ham sandwiches with the special cheese?" Xander asked.

Buffy nodded. "Yep. I also got some A negative for you, Spike. So, no complaining."

Spike grinned wide. "Would I ever complain?"

"I'm not answering that. Okay, back to work boys."

* * *

Ethan half-listened while that annoying Warren twerp went on and on about some sort of heist that even James Bond would have trouble pulling off. All the while he continued to nod his head, pretending to be following each inane twist with interest, because he knew Warrens' type, and attention was like water and food. He would wither away without it. Or even worse, revolt. He couldn't have that, as the time was near when the countless hours spent with the three dimmest lights he'd ever encountered would be made worthwhile, and he wouldn't risk mucking anything up.

"That is quite the plan," Ethan said, interrupting when Warren went for a breath. "However, I think your efforts are better placed elsewhere."

"It could bring in some extra cash, though," Warren pressed. "Not to mention, the glory."

"Oh, the glory," Andrew warbled.

"You will have enough glory at the end of all of this," Ethan said, smiling placidly at the three boys. "Don't you worry. I want you to keep a low profile for these next few days, though. As…wonderful…as your plan sounds, there are larger ones in store for you three."

"You keep saying that, but I've yet to see anything," Warren said, his voice hard.

"Do I not seem like a man of my word? I gave you the money, didn't I?"

The three boys nodded, Warren grudgingly doing so last. Ethan wanted nothing to more than to reach out and snap the insolent boy's neck.

"You can trust me," Ethan continued. "And trust that at the close of our adventure, there will not be a soul in this universe that does not tremble in fear at what you bring forth."

**A/N: A bit of fluff and plot development. Hope you enjoyed! Leave me your thoughts :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: First off, thank you for the reviews on that last chapter! You all are so sweet! Hope you enjoy this one :)**

Chapter Twelve

It was time. After weeks of preparation, Ethan had gathered nearly all the proper supplies and he was ready to set his plan into motion. He called the trio to their meeting spot, telling them that it was time for their glory to be achieved.

It was glory in death.

They didn't know that yet, but it was the truth behind his words. The only supplies he had not procured were ones that would come directly from the trio. There would be the heart from the loyal one, the brain from the wily one, and the spleen from the one left over.

Not much was left after that. He would complete the spell, and then the demon would come forth. Then, all that was left was to watch the mayhem ensue.

The trio were nearly bouncing with energy when they met at the abandoned warehouse he sent them. That was the wonderful thing about Sunnydale – there seemed to be an endless supply of dark corners and abandoned warehouses. It was such a helpful town for evil debauchery.

"We made sure we weren't followed," the short one, Jonathan, said. "We checked and all, just like James Bond."

"What do we need to do?" Warren asked, taking the lead. Ethan met his beady and calculating eyes, and mused to himself how nice they would look pulled from their sockets.

"We'll stand around here," Ethan said, gesturing to the small arrangement he had made in the center of the room. It was a bit of hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo – a random spattering of witchy-looking items that had no real relevance. They fell for it, though, circling the items with such solemnity that he had to hold back a laugh.

"Join hands now," he said. They hesitated for a moment before joining hands, the four of them situated around the items. Ethan began to chant, closing his eyes as he focused on the task at hand.

The trio knew nothing of the actual spell besides the small kernels of truth, along with a whole lot of non-truth, that he had supplied them with over the weeks. Because of that, they had no idea that he was in fact performing a hibernation recitation. At the close they collapsed to the floor with a satisfying thud.

Ethan glanced around at the prone bodies before walking over to a set of crates and prying the top one open, pulling out a large butchers knife. He took a deep breath and then said, "Well, I guess it's off to work."

He turned and walked back toward the three unconscious boys. Kneeling beside Warren, he raised the knife above his head.

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Xander railed, glaring across the table at Spike. If looks could kill, he would have dusted the vampire. "This is absolutely ridiculous! You're cheating!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Spike drawled.

"I don't know what you're doing, but you're manipulating the game! Buffy, make him stop!"

"Pet, I'm not manipulating the game," Spike said, glancing toward Buffy who was working on some homework at the desk in the living room. He looked back at Xander. "And I if I were, it sure as bloody hell wouldn't be with Candy Land."

"I don't think it's possible to cheat in Candy Land," Buffy said from the desk, glancing back at them. "Isn't it a game of chance?"

"I don't know why were playing this game, anyway," Xander said with a harrumph.

"Because it's a fantastic game," Dawn said petulantly. "And it's my night to pick the game, anyway. We had to play that stupid _Stratego_ game last week on board game night."

"_Stratego_ is not stupid," Xander argued. "It's a classic board game that teaches you valuable lessons about strategy."

"Wow, I wonder how your figured that," Spike said dryly.

"What does Candyland offer its players?" Xander continued, unthwarted by Dawn's utter refusal to see his side.

"Fun things like Gum Drop Lane and Candy Cane Forest," Dawn said. "_Stratego_ didn't have any of that. And it was stupid."

"Stupid! How can you call _Stratego_ stupid?!"

"Because it is!"

"Would you two pipe down?" Spike said, shaking his head. "You're makin' me wish I didn't come to board game night."

"By all means, let me grant that wish. The door is over there," Xander said, pointing toward the front door. Spike gave him a look. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"I've heard the Niblett talk about it so much. Figured I'd see it for myself. Now, stop holding up the game and play your turn, Harris."

Xander spun the spinner, swearing under his breath when he ended up with another bad turn. When he caught Spike's smirk he said, "Shut up, dead boy."

"Come on guys, play nice," Buffy sing-songed from her perch at the desk. "Don't make me go and get Giles now."

* * *

It had been a long while since Ethan Rayne had actually killed a human. He usually just unleashed the horror and watched it unfold comfortably from afar. This up close and personal business was more difficult than he remembered, and annoyingly messy. If the blood wasn't enough, there were all the additional bits and pieces that he didn't need.

"Disgusting little buggers," he said, stuffing the chopped body parts into the thick black garbage bags he brought for the job. He would burn them later to avoid any trace of evidence. A good hour was enough to tidy up after the slaughter and he was left with his heart, brain and spleen.

Pushing aside the fabricated arrangement from before, he picked up the medium ink-blank cauldron and set it in the center of the room. He carefully laid the organs inside of it and added a few ingredients he picked up at a magic shop outside of town. He placed lazarus crystals at four points around the cauldron smeared blood from each of the Trio between the crystals.

He stepped back and admired his handiwork for a moment before moving back to the crates and taking out a small leather book, with the pages nearly falling out. It was the oldest sort of dark magic, and just what Ethan liked to play with. In his opinion, dark magic became watered down as the centuries passed. The original spells were much better. They were more potent. More destructive.

He opened up to the spell and scanned over the incantation before beginning to recite the lines. He started out slow but then built speed as the spell grew. He saw the molecules begin to shift and pull around the cauldron and then he saw the light appear. The fabric between two worlds opened, and his demon – his beautiful demon – emerged.

* * *

"Did you just feel that?" Buffy said, a chill running down her spine. She glanced back at Xander, Spike and Dawn. The two humans seemed unaware of whatever had happened, but Spike looked similarly started.

"I felt it, too."

"Felt what?" Xander asked.

Immediately following Xander's remark, Dawn asked, "What are you guys talking about? I didn't feel anything."

"I don't know," Buffy said, rising from her seat. "But, I felt this…this magic. I felt something…"

Willow came down the stairs, her face ashen. Buffy went to her immediately, poised to speak but her speech halting when Willow said, "Something just happened. I felt it. And it's bad."

"Our usual bad? Or a worse bad?" Xander prattled, standing up from his spot on the ground. "Because we can handle bad. We've handled it before."

"Witches can feel when others call on powers," Willow said. Xander began to pace nervously. "It's never anything too overwhelming, but you can feel the shift in power. The give and take. Whatever just happened - someone took a whole lot."

"What the…" Xander said, standing in front of the window with his body hunched over slightly as he peered outside. Dawn came over to his side and he quickly turned her shoulders and said, "Ah, not for you to see! Definitely not for you to see!"

"What is it?" Buffy asked, moving next to him. Her mouth dropped open when she saw what he had been talking about. "Are they…?"

"It appears so," Xander said, feeling as if he should look away, but unable to. On the front lawn of the house across from the Summers residence was a couple in the throws of some all-encompassing-passion. "Isn't that illegal?"

"I'd say so."

"Shouldn't be," Spike said, sniffing. "We've all become such prudes."

"Of course you would be for that," Buffy said, rolling her eyes. "Come on guys, something is definitely up. Let's go talk to Giles."

* * *

The walk to Giles' apartment was unsettling to say the least. The others thought to themselves that it was eerily akin to when the Gentlemen attacked and they all lost their voices. To Buffy, it was an unsettling scene that she wished to never relive. It was as if the entire city had gone mad. Passion overrode sense and there was mayhem everywhere. People openly jacked cars and couples passionately embraced on street corners. It was as if every inhibition was stripped and society stood bare in its most base state.

When they finally got to Giles' house they found that it was empty. The lock was broken and Spike muttered, "Looks like someone got to him before us."

* * *

"Ripper," Ethan said snidely. "I'm sorry to see you're not as equally affected by my spell as you were last time. That was quite the sight to see."

"Where am I?" Giles asked, craning his neck to look around. He was tied to a chair, his feet and ankles bound. Just above his left eye was a deep cut where Ethan had crashed the teakettle against his forehead. He barely had time to react when Ethan had appeared in his apartment. He managed to get in a few good shoves, but he was no match for the teakettle.

Ethan walked around him slowly and said, "If I told you, then this wouldn't be any fun, would it?"

"Ethan-"

"I was quite hoping you would have been affected, Ripper. It would have been fun to watch you wriggle and squirm here."

"What have you done?" Giles said.

"I have achieved everlasting glory," Ethan said, drawing the words out. "I found the perfect spell. Found the perfect idiots to execute it. And now, I have possibly the only person who could stop it all tied to a chair. That, my friend, is being on a fairly successful roll."

"What's this perfect spell?"

"You really think I'm going to tell you that easily?" Ethan taunted.

"You always did like bragging, Ethan. Even if it was to your detriment."

Ethan smiled predatorily and said, "I'd watch what you say, Ripper. Remember that you're the one tied to a chair."

"As I lose feeling in both my hands and my feet, I hardly think I'll forget."

"I'd make it more comfortable, but that does defeat at least one of the purposes of tying one to a chair. Now, how about a little game? You guess what I have done, and I'll tell you if you're right."

"Let me guess, it has something to do with chaos," Giles said dryly.

"Right you are, old chap. It does have to do with chaos. It is the sort of chaos we only dreamed of, and now it is a reality."

"A reality?"

Ethan smiled wide. "Oh, alright, I'll just tell you. I've never been good at keeping things to myself, anyway. Imagine a world where there were no inhibitions. Imagine a world where there was no conscience, no morals, no man-made convention of right a wrong. A world driven purely by passion and desire and basic need. A world where basic instincts is all that you need, all that matters."

"The Rigonauld Demon," Giles said in a low voice. "You released it, didn't you?"

"You catch on quick, Ripper. Although I do have to wonder how you escaped it."

Giles had an idea, but he wasn't about to tell Ethan that. He remembered that Willow had cast all those spells on the Summers residence to repel Ethan and his workings. Perhaps a bit of that had safeguarded against magic promulgated by him. He only hoped that was the truth and the others in the house were safe.

"Regardless, it really doesn't matter, does it?" Ethan said pleasantly. "Affected or not, you are here and away from your doting subjects. They'll be like lost sheep without you."

"You underestimate them."

Ethan laughed. "You have such faith!"

"Avoiding a few apocalypses with a group of people will do that."

"We'll see then, won't we - if the Slayer and her groupies can save the day without their trusted Watcher? Let it be known the clock is ticking, though. The demon was released exactly three hours ago. If you think it is destructive now, you are in for a surprise."

* * *

Despite the excitement of the day, Buffy insisted on patrolling. Spike tried to talk her out of it, seeing that she was clearly bothered by what had happened earlier. She had been shaken to find that Giles was taken. Since they began training again she had found a comfort with him that she didn't feel with the others. She felt nervous and anxious with him missing.

"I can patrol, Buffy," Spike said, standing outside the front door of the Summers residence. "You had a long day."

"Which is exactly why I need to go out," Buffy said, walking past him. "I need to work off some steam."

"I think you need to sleep," he called after her.

"I can sleep when I'm dead," she returned.

"Yes, you can. But it's never as satisfying. Take it from someone who knows."

She held her ground and told him, "I'm going. Either you can sulk outside here or join me."

His choice was obvious.

He could read the desperation in her movements. Her fighting had always been fluid and clean. There was a dance-like quality in the way one move slid into the next. Tonight she was shaky and frenetic. She didn't miss a beat, but everything felt rushed. He was relieved when she finally turned to him and said they should call it a night.

She went to his bed without asking, curling up on the side that he know thought of as hers. He slipped out of his shirt and stepped out of his pants. After pulling on a pair of pajama pants (ones he had bought specifically for her nights there) he laid down next to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Her body molded against his and she held his hand against her belly. She didn't' speak for a long while, her thumb rubbing against the edge of his hand.

"What if he's hurt?" she asked softly.

"What if Giles' hurt?"

"Yeah. What if he's hurt and he's waiting for us to help him?"

"We will help him," Spike said. "Red is a powerful witch, and Glinda isn't half bad, either. Plus you got all the other Scoobies. Rupes isn't a wilting flower, either. That bloke's tough as nails, believe me."

"I hate the thought of him cooped up somewhere," Buffy said. "Scared and alone."

"We will find him," Spike said, gently rolling her onto her back so that he could see her face. "And we will figure out whatever Ethan did and fix it."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't," he relented. "But going from experience, pet, you lot figure things out. And you save the day a lot. So, buck up and think positive. You're going to beat this."

Her eyes were glassy and she smiled softly while she reached up and tugged his face to hers. She kissed him softly, her lips moving against his in a slow and unrushed manner.

"Thank you," she murmured.

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I'd love your thoughts on this!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This is about two weeks in the making. Finally hunkered down and finished it. Hope you like!**

Chapter Thirteen

"This is hopeless," Buffy said, pushing the large book away from her. It was the fifth book of the afternoon. The scoobies were holed up in the Magic Shop and all afternoon they read through book after book, trying to find something. So far, they'd come up with a big fat nothing.

"We need to stay positive," Willow said. "Think of it this way – we've ruled out everything in these books."

"Unless we're looking for the wrong thing," Buffy said glumly.

"You don't think we are, do you?" Xander asked. "Because I'm really not liking the idea of looking through these books again."

"We're on the right track," Anya said, not even bothering to look up from her book. "Ethan Rayne is chaos worshipper. His type doesn't stray. It'll be a chaos demon."

"See," Willow chirped. "It'll be a chaos demon."

"No offense, An, but that argument….not making me feel too confident."

"Whatever," Anya said with a shrug. "I know I'm right."

"Why isn't Spike here helping us?" Xander said. "Seems sort of unfair to leave all the heavy reading to us, yeah?"

"I told you, he's working the underground demon circuit," Buffy told him. "Seeing if they know anything about what Ethan's up to."

"That'll be good," Willow said. "Having an inside guy out there."

"Hey, I think I might have found something!" Xander said. "Oh, never mind. This demon went extinct about eight hundred years ago."

"You have to read the footnotes, Xander," Anya said, shaking her head.

"We just need to keep researching," Willow said. "That's what Giles would have us do. And-"

"And now his life depends on our researching," Buffy said.

"Is this a bad time to note that he's usually the one who finds what we're looking for?" Anya said.

"Well, then we'll just have to think like Giles," Willow said, voice firm.

"Tea and crumpets," Xander said loudly. He looked between the confused faces and said, "That was me thinking like Giles."

Buffy frowned. This was not looking good.

* * *

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Ethan said, walking past Giles and turning the sound up on the television. He had the news constantly running, basking in each story of mayhem and disaster.

"That's not exactly the word I would use," Giles said in a low voice.

"What else would you call it, Ripper? Do you see what we created?"

"What _you_ created, Ethan. I have nothing to do with this."

"That's where you're wrong, my friend. This is the result of all of our hard work. Years of working and planning. Enjoy it."

"I take no pleasure in watching Sunnydale consume itself."

Ethan laughed. "The hellmouth consuming itself. Very funny, Ripper."

"I'm not making a joke."

"Oh, of course you're not. You're far too serious. It's a shame, really. You used to be entertaining. The times we'd have together. Ripper, I tell you, we had some good times. Now, you're…what's the word I'm looking for…boring? Stuffy?"

"Oh please, go on," Giles said drily.

"Don't worry, I won't bore you to death. I intend on doing it in a much more painful manner."

"Yes, you've mentioned that," Giles said tiredly. "Would you get on with it already?"

Ethan leaned in close. "No, I want you to suffer first. I want you to watch your town go down in ruins and then watch your sainted Buffy Summers go down with it. By the time I kill you, Ripper, you'll be begging me for it."

* * *

"I think we should take a snack break," Xander said, closing his book. "Snacks stimulate brain power, right? And that's what we need right now. Brain power."

"I could go for some coffee," Tara said.

Xander glanced at the others and they shrugged. "Alright, coffee and snacks then? Breaky-break time?"

"Sure," Buffy said, standing up. She stretched a bit, arching her back and pushing her arms behind her. "A break sounds nice."

As they gathered their things the front door opened – the small bell jingling – and Willow dropped the book in her hand. Buffy looked at her in alarm. It grew even further when she heard an oddly familiar voice say, "Guess I'm late to the party."

"Oz," Xander said, eyes wide. "What are you doing here?"

"My band had a show a few town over. I thought I'd stop in on my way back. This isn't a bad time, is it?"

"Well, some sort of chaos-ey thing is happening. Ethan Rayne is back. Oh, and he kidnapped Giles," Xander said.

"So, things are pretty much normal?" Oz said.

"Not at all, actually," Anya piped in. "Buffy has partial memory loss from when we brought her back from the dead. She also is having sexual relations with Spike."

"We're not having…what you said," Buffy said defensively.

Oz looked at Buffy and said, "You seriously came back from the dead?"

Buffy nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Although she couldn't exactly place Oz, he seemed nice enough. There was something calming about his presence.

"Right on," he said. He looked around at the rest of the group and said, "I don't have anywhere to be for the next few days. Could you guys use an extra Scoobie?"

* * *

"So, Oz is Willow's ex-boyfriend?" Buffy asked Xander quietly. They were in line at a café a few streets down from the Magic Box. Oz sat with Dawn and Anya at the table with their drinks. Willow had elected to stay back at the Magic Box with Tara and continue researching.

"Yep," Xander said. "Oz is from before she jumped on the lady train. Oh, and he's also a werewolf."

"What?" Buffy said loudly, drawing a few looks. She lowered her voice and said, "Oz is a werewolf?" Xander nodded. "You know, I shouldn't be surprised but…"

"It's a lot to take in," Xander said.

"Is he – you know – like us? Is he a good guy?"

Xander nodded. "Oh yeah, he's definitely on our side. And he only gets all furry during full moons."

"So, Willow dated a werewolf," Buffy said slowly. "And you guys seriously wanted to give me flack about Spike?"

* * *

They returned to the Magic Box and Oz gingerly took the seat open next to Willow. Tara eyed him nervously and he said, "Hey there, Tara. Mind if I talk to Willow for a sec?"

"No, that's fine," Tara said.

"By the way, sorry for almost killing you before. That, uh, wasn't very cool of me."

"It's okay," Tara said, her voice gentle. "You weren't exactly yourself."

"No, I wasn't," he said.

"I'll let you two talk," Tara said, getting up from her seat and moving over to where the others were. Oz turned his attention toward Willow, noticing the way she chewed on the inside of her cheek. She always did that when she was nervous.

"Wil?"

"I can't talk. I need to keep researching," she said, eyes trained on her book.

"Would you give me just a little here, Wil? Please?"

"I can't," she said softly. "I've been trying to be positive for everyone, but Giles is missing, Oz. Giles is missing and there is a very real chance that he will remain that way and with all of this I really cannot handle dealing with you and whatever reason you're here."

"There is no reason," Oz told her. "No ulterior motive. Nothing."

"I'm with Tara," she told him. "I love Tara."

He smiled a bit, although his eyes were drawn. "I know. I didn't come here to get in the way of anything. I promise. Okay?"

Willow smiled a bit. "Okay." She paused for a moment and then admitted, "It is good to see you, Oz."

"I think I found something," Buffy said excitedly. Willow and Oz moved over to her and she pointed at a drawing of the demon.

"Rigonauld Demon," Tara read over Buffy's shoulder. "It says here it suppresses people's inhibitions – distorting their vision of reality to mold whatever best satisfies their most deepest desires."

"That sounds like our demon, right?" Buffy said, looking between them.

Willow grinned. "It sure does."

Spike rushed in suddenly, a flash of peroxide hair and leather. He was breathing heavily, his hand pressed against his waist, as he said, "I got it. I talked to some blokes down by Johnny's and the demon is-"

"The Rigonauld demon?" Xander interrupted.

Spike went to refute when he stopped and said, "Well, yeah. How'd you know that?"

"We just figured it out," Buffy said, pointing to the book.

"Oh. Well, good. Never mind then." He glanced at Oz and asked, "Hey, what's he doing here?"

* * *

Spike and Buffy went out to patrol while the rest worked on figuring out how to fight the Rigonauld demon. It was a quiet night – only a few vampires rising over at Restfield. Buffy didn't mind the slower pace. She was distracted by Giles' continued disappearance and Oz's return had shaken her, too.

"What're you thinking about?" Spike asked.

"Huh?" she said, looking over at him.

"What are you thinking about? You're distracted."

"Oh, sorry," she said. "I was just thinking about Oz." He raised his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes. "Not like that."

"What about, then?"

"I didn't remember him," she said. "He walked in and I had no idea who he was. Xander told me about him and he was a part of my life. We went to high school together. He was here last year. We have all of this history and he's a complete stranger to me." She crossed her arms over her chest. "It makes me wonder what else I'm missing."

"Buffy-"

"I thought it would be back by now," Buffy said. "My memory. I thought at least some of it would be back."

"It has, though. Bits and pieces, right?"

"It's not enough," Buffy said. "I'm sick of having this big part of my life unaccounted for. I can't help but wonder…"

When she didn't continue Spike asked, "Wonder what, pet?"

"I can't help but wonder if Giles wouldn't have been taken if I remembered. If we could have gotten to Ethan before he started any of this."

"Pet, this would have happened with or without your memory. That Ethan bloke is determined. And diabolical."

"I guess," she said, although her tone suggested she was not convinced. "I just-"

A vampire descended on them and Buffy spun around, jamming her heel into his chest. As she bound forward she said, "You know., I was in the middle of a conversation." She punched him hard. "It's rude to interrupt."

"Prepare to die, Slayer," he vampire hissed.

"I don't think so," she retorted, sliding her stake into his chest. When she turned back to Spike he was watching her with a smirk.

"What?" she asked.

"Memories or not, pet, you are definitely still the Slayer."

**A/N: Next chapter should be up soon-ish. Feedback would be great :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I wrote this ridiculously fast. Can't promise the next update will be as speedy - so enjoy :D**

Chapter Fourteen

"So, you're a werewolf?" Dawn asked, pulling her feet beneath her on the couch. The research gang had relocated to Buffy's house as they tried to figure out the best way to fight the demon. As Willow and Tara prepared lunch the rest settled in the living room.

"Yeah."

"That's cool," Dawn said. "Is it true you only get all wolf-ey during full moons?"

"Yeah."

"What's it like?" she asked excitedly. "Does it hurt?"

Oz shook his head. "No. It doesn't hurt."

"Do your clothes rip off like the Hulk?" Dawn asked excitedly. "Is it fun to be a werewolf? Do you remember it? Like, when you wake up do you have all these wolf memories and-"

"Lunch is ready!" Willow called from the kitchen.

'Thank God," Oz said under his breath, standing up. Dawn followed, continuing her barrage of questions to his back.

"Soup brought directly to you by Campbells," Willow said, setting the large pot on the table. Bowls were set at each spot at the table and the gang took their seats.

"Gee Willow, you really pulled out all the stops," Xander said. "And there's even cheesy bread!"

"I can't take credit for that," Willow said, grinning toward Tara. "Tara is the culinary mastermind behind the cheesy bread."

Tara blushed. "It's really not that hard. You just melt it on the bread in the oven."

"Well, you sure can melt with the best of them," Xander said. When he realized what he said his eyes widened and he said, "I meant melt cheese. Not you melting. Because that would be bad, and is in no way what I meant."

Tara smiled. "It's okay, Xander. I know what you meant. And that's a tall tale, anyway – witches melting."

"Right," Xander stammered. "Of course it is. I knew that."

"Anyway, we have a big day ahead of us," Willow said. "Figured we should all be well-fed."

"So, we need to find the source of the spell," Buffy said, recounting what they had found earlier.

"Uh huh," Willow said. "Once there, we ruin the mark and the spell should be broken."

"Do you think we'll find Giles there, too?" Xander asked.

"I hope," Willow said. "Sort of banking on Ethan Rayne not being the sharpest tool in the shed."

Xander shook his head. "Isn't there anything witch-ey you guys can do to try to locate him? Because if the spell ends and we don't find Giles-"

"We've tried everything," Willow said.

"Ethan must have put protective spells on wherever he is keeping Mr. Giles," Tara said. "Our best hope is to team up and find the best possible places the mark could be."

Willow looked around at the crestfallen spaces and said, "I know it's not the most satisfying answer, but it's all we have. We just need to keep working."

"So, brainstorm a list of places?" Buffy said. She frowned, thinking that she wouldn't be much help. The only places she knew around Sunnydale were her house, the cemeteries and a few assorted shops the other had taken her to.

"We're going to want to focus on it being isolated," Willow said. "Also, the mark has to be within the confines of the affected area."

"So, it's in Sunnydale," Anya said.

"Right," Willow said.

"Well, that's a start," Xander said. "It narrows it down a bit, yeah?"

"Hardly," Anya said. "There are hundreds of places here that could be construed as being isolated."

Xander grimaced and said, "Not really helping the cause here, An."

"I'm just being realistic," Anya said. "We need something more than isolated."

"We could try running a spell that would reveal traces of magic," Tara said after a moment.

"Wouldn't there be traces everywhere with the demon's spell?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, but there is a way to hone in on a particular spell," Tara said. Willow's eyes widened and she said, "You're right! Every spell has a unique character to it, and if we could figure out at least a ballpark of what Ethan Rayne used to conceal his house from our tracking spells-"

"We could maybe find Giles," Buffy finished, smiling a bit.

Willow grinned, nodding her head. "Exactly."

* * *

Buffy went to get Spike from his crypt while the rest of the gang worked on narrowing in on the exact type of concealment spell Ethan would have used. When she walked into the crypt Spike jumped up from his seat, going directly into fighting stance. He relaxed when he saw it was her, his arms falling to her side

"Oi, pet, you could have knocked!"

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't know I would be interrupting…" she glanced at the television, "…your episode of _Dawson's Creek_."

Spike sensed the sarcasm and said, "Don't judge. That's a fine piece of television."

"If you say," Buffy said unconvincingly. After a moment she went, "Hey, I actually remember that show! Figures I'd remember hokey _WB_ shows instead of, well, the entire rest of my life."

Spike smirked. "So, how's the research going?"

"Good. That's actually why I'm here."

"Oh, so you weren't just popping in for a chat?"

She rolled her eyes and he grinned, taking pleasure in such a Buffy-like mannerism.

"We found a way to maybe track where Ethan Rayne is keeping Giles," she said.

That piqued Spike's curiosity and he said, "Alright, I'm listening."

"Ethan is sure to have used a protective spell on his home to keep the demon's spell from affecting him. Willow and Tara are developing a spell to track it."

"That's not half bad of a plan."

"We're going to go out tonight and see if we can find anything," Buffy said. "I was hoping you could help."

"No need to hope, love," he said, standing up. "If you need me I'm there. No questions. No nothing."

She smiled softly. "Thank you. I really appreciate your help with this."

Spike shrugged. "We gotta stop the bloke. Plus, I saw what happened to your lot with Rupes, and it wasn't pretty."

"Mind if I stay here for a bit?" Buffy said. "They're all magic-ey there and I'm minimal help."

"Sure, pet."

Buffy paused for a moment and then asked, "Want to finish the episode?"

Spike smirked. "I knew the whole hokey-_WB_-bullocks was a front."

* * *

After Tara and Willow performed the spell, the gang assembled in the Summers living room to hand out routes they would cover. There was no telling how many places would be highlighted by the spell and they thought it better to divide and cover the town rather than all of them moving together.

"Alright, so Tara, Oz and I will take west of Randolph street," Willow said.

"Spike and I will take everything South of Hubbard," Buffy said, looking toward Spike. He nodded in agreement and said, "That area is heavy on the demons. Probably best we take it."

"We'll take the rest," Xander said, gesturing between him and Anya.

"What about me?" Dawn asked from her perch on the couch. "Who do I go with?"

"No one," Buffy said. "You stay home where you'll be safe."

"But, that's not fair! Everyone else gets to go!"

"This isn't some field trip, Dawn. This is serious and dangerous. I don't want you out there."

"We probably shouldn't leave her here alone, pet," Spike said. "A lot of home invasions been happening lately."

Buffy frowned. "You're right."

"I can stay back," Tara volunteered.

"You don't mind?"

"No, it's fine. Dawn and I can spend some quality time together," Tara said, shooting Dawn a grin.

"Will you teach me some spells?" Dawn asked excitedly.

Buffy immediately went, "No."

While Dawn pouted Tara said, "I think it might be safer to go the ice cream sundae, route."

"Okay, so, we all know where we're going?" The rest of the gang nodded. "We know what we're looking for?"

"Shifts in perception," Willow reminded them. "We can't exactly predict what you will see, but you will definitely see that something isn't kosher."

"Alright, everyone got that?"

"Not kosher," Xander repeated with a nod. "Got it."

"Good," Buffy said. "Remember, be careful out there. People aren't acting in their right minds. And if you find something do not do anything until Spike and I get there, okay? It's too dangerous for you guys to go in there by yourself." She looked around for their agreement. "Alright, let's go find Giles."

* * *

"You know, for having almost no memory of the past twenty years, she's pretty high and mighty," Anya said, walking with Xander. "I mean, we have to wait for her and Spike before checking out any building? You've got to be kidding me."

"It's just for our safety, An," Xander said.

"I was a vengeance demon for over seven hundred years," Anya said. "You should've seen some of the terror I created! I am not even a little intimidated by Ethan Rayne."

"Yes, Anya, but you're human now, remember? You don't have your powers anymore. And as the man who loves you, I would like it very much if you didn't die. Which is likely to happen if we try to face Ethan Rayne on our own."

"You give him way too much credit."

"Man who loves you, remember?" Xander repeated, voice imploring. "Let's not get ourselves killed."

Anya sighed. "Fine."

* * *

Spike and Buffy walked through town, looking for any traces of magic. They passed a store and a man darted out quickly, arms filled with merchandise that he likely didn't pay for. Behind him the storeowner flew out, a string of curses leaving his mouth. Buffy glanced at Spike and exhaled sharply at the look of glee in his eyes.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

He looked down at her. "What?"

"The chaos – you're enjoying it."

"Am not!"

"Are too!" she shot back. "I can see it in your eyes, Spike. You're enjoying this."

Spike frowned, shoving his hands in the pockets of his duster. "Can't help it, pet. It's the demon in me. Sort of does a happy dance at the complete mess that Rayne made of things." He looked down at her and said, "Doesn't mean I won't stop it. Because I will."

She shook her head. "Sometimes I forget just what you are."

He frowned. "And when you remember?"

She paused for a while and then said, "It makes me marvel even more at all the good you're somehow capable of."

His unbeating heart practically swelled at her words and it took every bit of self-restraint not to grab her and snog her right there in the middle of the street.

"It's all for you, pet. There'd be none of it if it weren't for you."

She glanced at him. "That's where you're wrong, Spike. It's you. I may have prompted it, but this – everything you are doing – it is 100 percent you."

He went to respond when something caught his eye. It was a house a few feet from them. It seemed to be shifting like a mirage.

"You see that?" he said, gesturing toward it.

Buffy nodded. "Let's check it out."

* * *

"You seem happy," Oz said, glancing at Willow. They had wandered off down into a dark alleyway that led to the outskirts of town. Willow remembered there being a few abandoned pieces of property back there.

"I am," she said.

"It's because of Tara, isn't it?" Oz said. Willow nodded, avoiding his gaze. "She's good for you. I can tell."

"I know it might be hard for you to understand-"

"It's not," he said. "It's not at all because it's how I used to feel around you."

She crossed her arms over her chest, shoulders hunching in. "Oz, I thought you said…"

"I'm not trying to say anything by…well…saying that. It's just the truth. Or at least it was."

She looked at him in surprise. "Was?"

He nodded. "You've changed, Wil. I don't know what it is exactly, but you're different."

"Well, for starters I like girls."

He laughed. "I don't mean that. I mean you grew up. I guess I did, too. When we were young we were perfect for each other, but now…"

"Not so much," she said softly.

"You'll always be my first love," he said. "But there's a reason those don't last."

Willow thought of Buffy and Angel. Cordelia and Xander. Oz had a point.

"So, what about you?" she asked. "Any new ladyfriend?"

He grinned. "Yeah, actually. Her name's Karen."

"Ooh, pretty name," Willow enthused. "What's she like?"

"She's pretty much perfect," Oz said.

"Oh, well then I like her already."

"Wil," Oz said, pointing toward a warehouse off in the distance. It had a definite magical quality to it and Willow felt her heartbeat quicken as they neared. They walked to the front and Oz pulled out his phone.  
"Should I call Buffy?"

"Hold on," Willow said. She had a bit of magic up her sleeve that she hadn't shared with the others. Mostly because she had never done it before, and she knew they would tell her not to risk it. Time was running out, though. There wasn't time to check out every building that the spell picked up, and the longer Giles was gone, the more likely it was that he wouldn't return. She couldn't let that happen. They had lost enough people. She began to chant and Oz looked at her in alarm.

"Willow, what are you doing?"

She continued chanting and she felt the divide in her body, the splitting of two as a part of her was projected into the warehouse. She dimly heard Oz calling her name, but she ignored him. There wasn't much time. She could already feel her conscience returning to her body, a strong pull that took every bit of her strength to resist. She moved through the warehouse, drawn to the soft din of a television. She turned the corner and she saw him.

At that moment the pull overtook her and she was rammed back into her body, falling backwards as the force of the magic pushed her off balance. Oz caught her before she hit the ground, his arms steadying her.

"Willow, what the hell was that?"

"Call Buffy," she said weakly. "Giles is in there."

She sat down on the hard gravel and watched Oz dial Buffy's number.

"Yeah, he's here," Oz said into the phone. "Willow said she's sure. I don't know how, but – yeah, sure. I'll see you soon."

He hung up and turned toward Willow. As he moved forward, though, his body twitched violently, his limbs stiffening and neck twisting to the side.

"Oz?"

He didn't respond as he twitched again, the muscles in his neck straining against his skin as he grimaced. Willow scooted back in terror as sharp claws burst from his hands. She closed her eyes, hoping when she opened them again this wouldn't be happening. Because it couldn't have been. This had to be some terrible nightmare - an after effect of her spell - because it wasn't a full moon.

And then she remembered. It was the point of the demon's spell. Stripping away all control and reason until only one thing remained.

Basic animal instinct.

"Oz, please," she murmured helplessly, her entire body beginning to shake.

Voice mangled, he managed one word before he turned.

"Run."

**A/N: And now you see why I brought in Oz! Thoughts, please!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you for your feedback! Hope you enjoy this!**

Chapter Fifteen

Willow clumsily scrambled back on her hands, trying to push herself up onto her feet before he completely turned. Her limbs felt heavy and awkward from the spell and she barely got to her feet before he had completely turned, yellow eyes glowing in the night and teeth bared.

She began to chant immediately, thinking to herself that this was one instance where the others actually couldn't fault her for relying on magic as a crutch. It was a spell that she hadn't used often – she only read about it a few months back when she was going through old spell books – but necessity helped her to recall it verbatim.

She continued chanting, her body coursing with energy as a bright light spread in front of Oz. She was almost at the end and she could feel her weariness affecting the potency of the spell. The light was dimming and Oz advanced forward. Using every last bit of her strength, she sunk into the spell going to the very essence of the words as she spewed them out of her mouth.

Oz took another step forward and she almost thought she had failed, but then the light burst into brilliance in front of the wolfed-out Oz and he howled as his vision was obscured. Taking off back toward town, Willow hoped the spell's effects would last long enough so that she could find a place to hide.

* * *

"Doesn't this thing go any faster?" Buffy complained, leaning forward. Spike glanced toward her and said, "Don't insult the Desoto, pet."

"We could _run_ faster," she lamented.

Spike shook his head. "Me, maybe, but not you. Still got some human in you over there."

She frowned as a car passed them, an elderly woman with her hair in rollers at the wheel. "You have got to be kidding me. An old lady is going faster than you, Spike. An old lady!"

"Oi, her car probably has better transmission!" he argued. "I'm telling you, pet, this is as fast as she will go."

Buffy gave him a look. "Did you seriously just refer to the car as a 'she'?"

Not the least bit chagrined – which Buffy found slightly bothersome – he shrugged and said, "Yeah."

Buffy shook her head. "It's official. I don't understand men."

Spike smirked. "Reckon they feel the same way about you, pet."

Buffy began to drum her fingers on her knee, anxiously chewing on the inside of her cheek. Spike sensed her anxiety and said, "We'll be there soon."

"What if we're too late? What if Ethan already got to him?"

Spike sucked in his cheeks and said, "Then I reckon that Ethan bloke won't have much longer to live."

* * *

Xander and Anya walked down an alleyway, searching for anything that look off or strange. They hadn't found anything yet in their search, and Xander was beginning to worry they weren't looking for the correct thing.

"I mean, we should've found something by now, right?" Xander said. "Sure, it doesn't have to be _the_ place, but you think we'd find at least one measley incy-wincy trace of magic."

"Willow probably botched the spell," Anya said. When Xander gave her a look she said, "What? Her spells rarely go well. Remember when she nearly locked Buffy in her own mind?"

Xander countered with, "Remember when she brought her back from the dead?"

Anya frowned. "Well, when you put it like that."

"Her spells might not always work, but it's pretty clear they have the potential to."

"Fine. You win," Anya sighed.

Xander went to say something when three men came out of the darkness. The one in front was holding a crowbar and swung it jauntily at his side as he strolled forward. The two behind him held what looked like knives. Xander turned immediately, thinking they could run the way they came, but two other men approached from behind.

"Well, well," the one with the crowbar crooned, his voice unnaturally loud in the silence of the alleyway. "Looks like we found ourselves some company."

"Xander, do something!" Anya said under her breath, terror making her entire body freeze up. Xander tried to place himself in front of her, but they were approaching from both ways.

"Hey guys, we – uh – we don't want any trouble."

"Neither do we," crow-bar guy said. He continued to swing the crowbar at his side, the soft swoosh serving as background music for what Xander was increasingly beginning to think would be an unsavory scene. "Isn't that right guys?"

They echoed up a chorus of no trouble, a few laughing for an unsettling effect.

"See?" crow-bar guy said. "We don't want no trouble, either. Now, how about we make this real simple and you guys hand over your wallets."

"No, not the money!" Anya cried out.

One of the guys' eyes roved over her form and he lasciviously returned, "You offering anything else, sweet stuff?"

"How about no." Xander answered forcefully.

"Hey now, no need for that tone," crow-bar said. "We're all reasonable people here. We want your money. You want to live. Now, tell me, what would a reasonable person do?"

Three shapes emerged behind crow-bar guy, and the lead one said, "A reasonable person wouldn't be hanging out in dark alleyways by themselves."

Xander watched in terror as the newcomers went into gameface.

"Well," he said in a high-pitched voice. "This went from bad to worse."

* * *

"Pull over," Buffy said, pointing at the street sign. "The warehouse is on this street."

Spike pulled over and she got out of the car quickly, taking in the area. Spike joined her and they took off in the direction of the warehouse. They passed a dismembered cat and Buffy grimaced.

"Okay, total ew," she said, scrunching her shoulders.

"If we don't stop this Rayne character, a dismembered cat will be the least of your worries," Spike said.

They continued on their way mostly in silence when Spike stopped suddenly, his face turning upward as he sensed something. Buffy looked at him with concern and asked, "What is it?"

He didn't respond for a moment and then turned down an alleyway suddenly. She followed and brought her hand to her mouth when she saw Willow slumped against a building, her body trembling.

"I thought I sensed her," Spike said while Buffy dropped to her knees in front of Willow, gently laying her hand on her shoulder.

"Willow? Willow, what happened?"

"I did a spell," Willow managed, her voice gravelly. "Oz..and the spell…" she trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut. "I had to do it."

Spike was silent for a moment and then said, "You had to use a spell on Oz?"

Willow managed a small nod.

"Why did you…" Buffy trailed off as she realized what that meant. "Oh God, we need to find Ethan Rayne. Now."

* * *

The would-be-robbers reduced to frightened children when they saw the vampires. Their screams echoed in the alleyway as the vampires ripped into their necks. One lunged at Anya and she shrieked, darting to the side only to have him collide with his shoulder and push her to the ground. He straddled her, poised to attack her neck when Xander plunged a stake through his back and into his unbeating heart.

Anya popped back up, entire body shaking as she yelled, "This being human thing sucks!"

Another vampire went for Xander but backed away slightly when he saw the stake in his hand.

"You want some, fangboy?" Xander called out. The vampire considered it for a moment and then lunged forward, causing Xander to make a high-pitched yelping noise and dart to the side. Anya came to his aid by hitting the vampire with an empty whiskey bottle she'd found on the ground. It shattered– doing little harm to the vampire – but it was enough to distract him. Xander charged at him and took him down, struggling for a moment before managing to slide the stake into his chest.

Breathing heavily Xander stood and looked at the carnage surrounding them. Out of the five men who had originally attacked them, only two remained alive. One was wounded on the ground, attempting to pull himself away while the lone vampire left buried his face in the other robber's neck.

"Anya, how about we run?" Xander said, beginning his retreat.

"I'm right behind you."

* * *

Buffy kicked open the door to the warehouse, running on pure adrenaline as she stalked into the open area. Spike was taking Willow back to the house and then he said he would join her. She was thinking this would all be good and done by then. It was simple enough. Find Giles. Find Ethan. Save Giles. Kill Ethan. There you go.

If she had all of her memories, she would have remembered that nothing with Ethan Rayne was ever that simple. The moment she stepped past the intial entryway of the house she felt her body seize and she stood stock-still, eyes widening as she realized that she couldn't move. She heard a slow clap to her side and from her peripheral vision saw Ethan approach, a wide grin on his face.

"Bravo, Buffy Summers. You have found my not-so-secret-lair. I must say, that was quite the entrance."

"I figured you wouldn't need the door considering you'll be dead and all," she returned.

He chuckled, rubbing his chin. "Says the girl paralyzed in the center of the room."

If she could have raised her chin defiantly she would have as she said, "That doesn't change my killing you."

"Oh, but it does. See, killing me involves movement. And you, dear, will be paralyzed for a good long while. Until I choose to unparalyze you, actually, which I'm afraid will come later rather than sooner."

Something gleamed in his eye and she found herself silently wishing for Spike to show up. Because whatever Ethan had planned – she wasn't going to like it.

"Now, I have someone who I know will just be thrilled to see you," Ethan said. "Don't move."

He chuckled at his own joke and walked out of the room. She tried to fight the enchantment but it felt as if she was literally rooted to the spot. Moments later he returned with Giles. Her watcher's eyes darkened when he saw her standing there. All she could feel was relief. He was alive. Which meant there was still a chance they both could get out in one piece.

"I brought you a guest," Ethan said, grinning dow at Buffy. "See, I knew your little ragtag team would search for you. Had a hunch about how they would do it, too. Didn't think they'd be dense enough to send your little Slayer on her own, but, even I get it wrong sometimes."

"Let her go," Giles spat. "She has nothing to do with this."

"Oh, but don't you see? She has everything to do with this," Ethan returned. "She has thwarted me too many times." He walked toward her, running a finger over her cheek. "Look at her, so young and innocent. It's almost a shame to spill her blood."

"I swear, if you lay a hand on her-"

"I believe I just did, Ripper," Ethan said, turning back toward him. He extended his arms out and said, "Now what are you swearing to do?"

"I will destroy you."

"Is that so?" Ethan turned quickly to Buffy and punched her in the stomach. She grimaced as pain radiated through her abdomen. Ethan turned back to Giles and said, "Alright, destroy me, Ripper! I dare you!"

"The Watcher is the last thing you need to worry about," Spike snarled from the doorway, launching himself at Ethan. The spell took effect almost immediately and his body froze mid-launch.

"What the-"

"Now now, this is surprising," Ethan said. "William the Bloody, I recognize you from my reading. What are you doing coming to the aid of a Slayer?"

"What's it to you?"

"Just fascination, really," Ethan said. "I also want the full story for after I kill you." He cocked his head to the side and asked, "Now, just this once I'll let you pick. What would you prefer – decapatation or the tried-and-true standard of the stake through your heart?"

"No!" Buffy cried out.

Ethan looked at her with interest. "Now now, this is even _more_ surprising. Do I detect some sort of affection?" He looked between them, grinning wide. "The vampire slayer and her vampire. How poetic."

"Leave him out of this," Buffy said. "Leave them both out. If you wanted me, here I am. Let them go."

"Interesting proposition," Ethan said. "But I think I'll just kill you all. Seems a bit cleaner, no?"

* * *

"Do you want some tea?" Tara asked, walking over to Willow. She was stretched out on the couch, recuperating from earlier. There wasn't much recuperation, though, as her mind replayed the events of the night. The initial spell. Oz wolfing out. Her narrow escape. Her mind was drawn back to the initial spell time and time again. There was something about it that bothered her. She had felt something when she was there. It was a tickle – a brush of something – but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"I'm good," she told Tara. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, of coure." Tara settled next to Willow, pulling her feet into her lap. "What's going on?"

"I did an astral projection spell tonight," Willow began. "And-"

"Willow, that's some serious magic. No wonder you're weak."

"I know," Willow said. "But we were running out of time and…and I had to do something."

Tara nodded. "Go on."

"Okay, anyway, while I was in there I felt something. Sensed is maybe the better word, actually, I sensed something."

"Okay," Tara said slowly. "You sensed something."

"That makes it sound as ridiculous as it feels," Willow said glumly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, it's not," Tara said immediately. "Let's see, with astral projection you can sense people's presence, their essence."

"Well, Ethan and Giles were there."

"Okay, I think I've read somewhere that you can sense other magic, too."

Something set off in Willow's mind. "Sense magic?"

Tara nodded. "Being in the altered state heightens your sensitivity to it. So, if there were other spells-"

"Oh no," Willow said, sitting up suddenly. "I need to go there."

"What? Willow-"

"It was a trap. Ethan knew we were coming."  
"You can't know that."

"But I do," Wilow said. "I-I don't exactly know how, but the spell – Tara, just believe me. I need to go there."

"Okay," Tara said.

"You need to come with me, though," Willow said. "I'm not storng enough to do any sort of spell by myself. I'll need your power, too."

Tara took her hand and squeezed it. "I'll be wherever you need me."

* * *

"Look at that," Ethan marveled, sliding his knife along Buffy's arm and watching the blood drip. "Such a small cut and yet so much blood." He glanced toward Spike and said, "You want a taste don't you?"

"No," he said.

"But of course you do," Ethan said. He walked over to Spike and ran the blunt side of the knife slowly across his lips. Spike's tongue instinctively darted out to taste the blood and his face shifted.

"It's only instict," Ethan said, watching the muscles in Spike's neck strain as he fought the bloodlust. "It's your basic instinct to kill. To lust for blood. It's not that different from us, really."

Spike returned to his human face, his eyes filled with disgust. "I swear to something unholy, I will rip out your innards and string them up like drapes."

Ethan laughed. "Well, that is unpleasant imagery."

He moved over to Buffy again, knife at the ready. As he went to cut into her side Willow and Tara burst through the front.

"Ah, more company!" Ethan bellowed. "This is becoming quite the party!"

"There's some spell!" Buffy yelled toward them.

Ethan watched the spell root them in place, his grin widening. He had even more playthings now. He noticed that their hands were interlocked and he gleefully thought of severing them with his knife. As he walked toward them they began to chant.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

They responded by chanting louder, their eyes taking on an unnatural gleam as their voices filled the cavernous room.

"Stop that!" he yelled. "Stop that right now!"

He charged forward but was blown backwards by the force of the spell as the bind was broken. Buffy slumped to the ground while Spike leaped forward, his hands finding Ethan's neck. He howled in pain as his chip went off.

"Find the mark and destroy it," Buffy told Tara and Willow before running back toward the fight between Spike and Ethan, and imparting a sharp kick to the latter's chest. He was thrown back into the wall, his head smacking loudly against the concrete. He slumped to the flower unconscious.

She went over to Giles immediately and untied him, her hands shaking. They had done it. No matter what happened after this, he was alive.

"Thank you," he said, his voice soft. "Thank you, Buffy."

**A/N: I'd love to know your thoughts on this!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you for your feedback! Hope you enjoy this!**

Chapter Sixteen

Despite Giles' weakened state, when Buffy untied him him the first thing he did was stagger over to Ethan. The latter chaos worshipper was just beginning to stir from unconsciousness, which Giles fixed with a sharp blow with his fist to Ethan's face. There was a cracking noise as Ethan's nose broke.

"Wanker," Giles spat, drawing a chortle from Spike.

"You show him, Rupes."

"Buffy, can I use your phone?" Giles said. Buffy nodded and pulled her phone from her pocket, handing it over. He dialed a number quickly and then rattled off a string of numbers.

"I have Ethan Rayne here," Giles said. He told them the address and then added, "This time let's make sure he's taken care of, shall we? Yes, thank you."

He hung up and Buffy asked, "Was that the council?"

"Yes," Giles said. "It's the only real way to contain him other than killing him."

Willow and Tara returned to the room and Willow said, "The mark is done-zo."

"Good," Giles said. "That is very good."

"You really think the Council is the right way to go here?" Spike said. "Weren't they the ones who had him in the first place?"

"This time I will insist a course other than rehabilitation," Giles said, his voice gravelly. "Because clearly, he is beyond rehabilitating."

"Should we do something?" Buffy asked, glancing back at the unconscious villain. "You know, in case he wakes up?"

Giles rubbed his bruised wrist and said, "I have a vague idea."

* * *

Ethan came to consciousness and found himself tied to the same chair that Giles had been a mere hour earlier. He strained against the restraints and Giles said, "You'll find those nice and tight."

Ethan chortled. "Very nice, Ripper. Don't think the irony is lost on me, here."

"The Council will be here any minute to take you to your cell. It may not be to your usual liking, but the wrought-iron bars have their own sort of charm."

Ethan laughed again, his face twisting. "You think you've beaten me, don't you? But that's where you're wrong. You will never beat me, Ripper. You will never beat me because-"

Buffy cut him off, walking around from the back where she stood and forcing a piece of masking tape over his mouth. She had found it with some other random supplies he had in the warehouse and she lamented, "He's really a talker, isn't he?"

"One of his many flaws," Giles agreed.

"How much longer until the Council gets here?" Buffy asked, rubbing her stomach after it growled loudly. "I believe my hunger just spoke for itself."

"They should be here soon."

Buffy nodded, leaning against the wall. It was just her and Giles there in the warehouse, the others out in town looking for Oz. Their conversations had been mainly topical since they got Ethan tied up in the chair. Buffy didn't want to admit how scared she had been about him, and Giles didn't want to admit how close her fears were realized.

Giles leaned down to pick up the roll of masking tape and winced as pain ripped through his side. Ethan had experimented with a knife there, seeing how loud Giles could scream. Buffy was at his side immediately, helping him to stand. She led him over to the wall and he braced his hand on it, straightening up.

"Thank you," he said in a tight voice, gritting his teeth in pain. One of the wounds had ripped open a bit, and blood stained his shirt. Buffy took in his disheveled form and felt rage build in her chest. She turned back to Ethan who was watching them with an unreadable expression. She bound over to him and drove her fist into his face. She did it again. And again. She did it until her knuckles burned, and she probably would have kept going if Giles hadn't taken a hold of her arm, gently pulling her away from Ethan's prone body.

"Buffy, I think that's quite enough."

She turned into him, sobbing against his shoulder. He slowly put his arms around her, murmuring, "What in the world…"

"You aren't allowed to disappear like this again, okay?" she said, looking up at him. "You're-you're not allowed."

"Buffy, this was hardly my choice, you know."

"You're the closest thing I have to a parent here," she said, lower lip trembling again. "And … and just promise you won't disappear again."

He smiled softly, nodding. "I'll do my best."

* * *

"Look at this place," Spike said, shaking his head as they walked through Sunnydale. "It's a mess. Suppose that's the point of a chaos spell, though."

"How haven't we found him yet?" Willow said, glancing around the street anxiously. "We should have found him by now."

"He's probably hiding," Tara said. "You know, considering how he is after the change…"

"Oh God, what if he's hurt?" Willow interjected. "He could be hurt and-"

Willow's phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket, answering it quickly. Xander was on the other line and she felt her stomach untwist as he told her that him and Anya had Oz at Buffy's house.

"Good news?" Tara guessed.

"Oz is at Buffy's," Willow said, smiling in relief. "They found him on their way back or something. Apparently there's a bigger story there, but Xander insists on telling it in person. He said it involves visuals."

"I like the sound of that," Tara said.

"Not if Harris' at the pen," Spike said. "So, head back then?"

* * *

"You really should have one of our medics look at you," one of the Council Watchers said, glancing at Giles' injuries as the others attended to Ethan. Buffy stood at the side, overseeing everything.

"I'm fine," Giles said. "Right now let's just worry about that diabolical man being put behind bars and staying there."

"Of course, Giles," the man said, nodding. "You know that is of our utmost concern."

"It better be," Giles said. "I've been bothered by this man more times than I care to remember." He glanced at Buffy and said, "We all have."

"We assure you, he will not be compromised again."

"He better not," Buffy said. "Because next time, we won't go through the nice channels. It'll be Ethan meets the nice pointy end of Buffy's crossbow arrow."

The man attempted to remain unaffected by her proclamation, but she noticed the edges of his mouth tug at a smirk. "Understood. We won't bother you two any further."

Buffy watched them leave, Ethan in a full straight jacket. She turned back to Giles and said, "He wasn't entirely wrong, you know. A hospital might not be a bad idea."

Giles shook his head. "I just want to go home. I've had enough poking and prodding for a lifetime."

"Yes, but their poking and prodding at least comes with a license."

Giles smiled slightly. "While I appreciate your concern, I truly am fine."

"Alright," Buffy relented. "But we're going to check in on you constantly. It'll be the Scooby watch."

Giles shook his head, but his tone was affectionate as he murmured, "I would expect nothing less."

* * *

Oz was dressed in some of Xander's old clothes that he had pulled from the back of the closet. The bowling shirt hung loosely on his smaller frame and the pants barely stayed up. When Willow and the rest returned he looked up at them guiltily, particularly Willow who he could barely look at.

"Can we have a moment?" Willow asked, looking around at the others. They nodded, shuffling into the other room. Dawn lingered, fascinated by the exchange, but Spike took a hold of her elbow and pulled her out with the rest.

"Oz," Willow said softly, sitting next to him on the couch. He kept his eyes trained on his lap as he said, "I am so sorry, Wil."

"Hey, it's not your fault," she said gently, reaching over and laying her hand on his arm. He pulled away from her touch.

"I could have hurt you," he said. "I mean, I could have _killed_ you."

"Oz, none of this is your fault," she told him. "It was the spell. It reduced you to your basic instincts. For most that's just being a bit more selfish than usual. For you, it meant getting all wolf-ey."

"I killed someone," Oz said, his voice strained. "Or maybe more, I don't know what really happened. When I came to, I was covered with blood."

"Oh, Oz…"

"How do I come back from that? How…"

He trailed off, at a loss for words. Willow scooted closer and put her arms around him, holding him tight as he sat there wordlessly. After a moment his hand grasped her arm.

"You did nothing wrong," she repeated, voice steadfast. "It was the spell. All of this was the spell."

"But I did it. I killed them."

"No," she said, reaching up and forcing his gaze to hers. "This was not you, do you understand? The wolf is not you, Oz. It's not you."

* * *

Spike waited for Buffy to return, each moment feeling like an eternity. He knew nothing else would run amiss after the Council arrived, but he had other things on his mind. His thoughts went back to Ethan running the blade along his lips, his tongue darting out to taste the sweetest nectar he had ever been unlucky enough to sample.

He had tasted her blood. Not even a single penetration of his fangs, and he could already feel the shift in the union. He felt it the moment she walked into the house, his body coursing with desire and need. He heard her talk with her friends for a bit. Xander relayed the story of his and Anya's near-death with the same excruciating detail as earlier. It was disturbing how the boy could take a simple story into a thirty minute saga. It seemed to be ages before Buffy padded up to her bedroom, surprise filling her eyes when she saw him sitting on her bed.

"I was wondering where you were," she said, closing the door behind her. His gaze went to her neck immediately.

"Had enough togetherness for one day," he said, eyes drawn back to hers. "That lot isn't too bad, but every man has his limits. How's Giles?"

"Back home," Buffy said. "I tried to convince him to stay here tonight, but he was having none of it. He should be fine, though. I figure out chaos demon attack for the week is probably all we'll get."

"Yeah, I reckon so."

She sat down next to him on the bed and pulled of her shoes. She exhaled loudly and at up straight, arching her back as she stretched. His eyes followed the curve of her waist up to the slender chalice beneath her chin. He found himself leaning forward instinctively, tongue sliding along his bottom lip. She glanced over at him and gave him a look.

"What are you doing?"

He jerked back and stammered, "Nothing. I was…uh…nothing."

She smirked and said, "Uh huh, I know what you were going for there. Not a chance in this world or the next."

"Huh?"

"I'm beat," she said, scooting back onto her bed and stretching out. "So, no smoochies tonight."

"Oh, right," he said, a bit slow on the recovery. "That's just…way to ruin a vampire's night."

She grinned. "You could stay if you want."

He was tempted. Her body was warm and it had always been a fantasy of his to sleep with the Slayer in her bed. After this evening though, there was no way. In the dark with his senses heightened, he couldn't trust himself.

"I think I'll go it alone, pet. Don't want to be a distraction."

"Alright," she said yawning wide. "Patrolling tomorrow night?"

"Yeah," he said, thinking a spot of violence may help. "I'll see you then."

Knowing she would think something was off if he didn't kiss her goodbye, he leaned down and gave her a quick peck on her forehead. He was out of her room before she could question him.

**A/N: Bit of a filler admittedly - but it leads to more! Next big arc of the story is coming up :D**


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